第103章
Consoled by this resolution,she was the better able to bear her husband's incivility;though it was very mortifying to know that her neighbours might all see Mr. Bingley in consequence of it,before they did.As the day of his arrival drew near,
'I begin to be sorry that he comes at all,'said Jane to her sister.'It would be nothing;I could see him with perfect indifference,but I can hardly bear to hear it thus perpetually talked of. My mother means well;but she does not know,no one can know how much I suffer from what she says.Happy shall I be,when his stay at Netherfield is over!'
'I wish I could say any thing to comfort you,'replied Elizabeth;'but it is wholly out of my power. You must feel it;and the usualsatisfaction of preaching patience to a sufferer is denied me,because you have always so much.'
Mr. Bingley arrived.Mrs.Bennet,through the assistance of servants,contrived to have the earliest tidings of it,that the period of anxiety and fretfulness on her side,might be as long as it could.She counted the days that must intervene before their invitation could be sent;hopeless of seeing him before.But on the third morning after his arrival in Hertfordshire,she saw him from her dressing-room window,enter the paddock,and ride towards the house.
Her daughters were eagerly called to partake of her joy. Jane resolutely kept her place at the table;but Elizabeth,to satisfy her mother,went to the window—she looked,—she saw Mr.Darcy with him,and sat down again by her sister.
'There is a gentleman with him,mamma,'said Kitty;'who can it be?'
'Some acquaintance or other,my dear,I suppose;I am sure I do not know.'
'La!'replied Kitty,'it looks just like that man that used to be with him before. Mr.what's his name.That tall,proud man.'
'Good gracious!Mr. Darcy!—and so it does I vow.Well,any friend of Mr.Bingley's will always be welcome here to be sure;but else I must say that I hate the very sight of him.'
Jane looked at Elizabeth with surprise and concern. She knew but little of their meeting in Derbyshire,and therefore felt for the awkwardness which must attend her sister,in seeing him almost for the first time after receiving his explanatory letter.Both sisters were uncomfortable enough.Each felt for the other,and of course for themselves;and their mother talked on,of her dislike of Mr.Darcy,and her resolution to be civil to him only as Mr.Bingley's friend,without being heard by either of them.But Elizabeth had sources of uneasiness which could not be suspected by Jane,to whom she had never yet had courage to shew Mrs.Gardiner's letter,or to relate her own change of sentiment towards him.To Jane,he could be only a man whose proposals she had refused,and whose merit she had undervalued;but to her own more extensive information,he was the person,to whom the whole family were indebted for the first of benefits,and whom she regarded herself with an interest,if not quite so tender,at least as reasonable and just,as what Jane felt for Bingley.Her astonishment at his coming—at his coming to Netherfield,to Longbourn,and voluntarily seeking her again,was almost equal to what she had known on first witnessing his altered behaviour in Derbyshire.
The colour which had been driven from her face,returned for half a minute with an additional glow,and a smile of delight added lustre to her eyes,as she thought for that space of time,that his affection and wishes must still be unshaken. But she would not be secure.
'Let me first see how he behaves,'said she;'it will then be early enough for expectation.'
She sat intently at work,striving to be composed,and without daring to lift up her eyes,till anxious curiosity carried them to the face of her sister,as the servant was approaching the door. Jane looked a little paler than usual,but more sedate than Elizabeth had expected.On the gentlemen's appearing,her colour increased;yet she received them with tolerable ease,and with a propriety of behaviour equally free from any symptom ofresentment,or any unnecessary complaisance.
Elizabeth said as little to either as civility would allow,and sat down again to her work,with an eagerness which it did not often command. She had ventured only one glance at Darcy.He looked serious as usual;and she thought,more as he had been used to look in Hertfordshire,than as she had seen him at Pemberley.But,perhaps he could not in her mother's presence be what he was before her uncle and aunt.It was a painful,but not an improbable,conjecture.
Bingley,she had likewise seen for an instant,and in that short period saw him looking both pleased and embarrassed. He was received by Mrs.Bennet with a degree of civility,which made her two daughters ashamed,especially when contrasted with the cold and ceremonious politeness of her curtsey and address to his friend.
Elizabeth particularly,who knew that her mother owed to the latter the preservation of her favourite daughter from irremediable infamy,was hurt and distressed to a most painful degree by a distinction so ill applied.
Darcy,after enquiring of her how Mr. and Mrs.Gardiner did,a question which she could not answer without confusion,said scarcely any thing.He was not seated by her;perhaps that was the reason of his silence;but it had not been so in Derbyshire.There he had talked to her friends,when he could not to herself.But now several minutes elapsed,without bringing the sound of his voice;and when occasionally,unable to resist the impulse of curiosity,she raised her eyes to his face,she as often found him looking at Jane,as at herself,and frequently on no object but the ground.More thoughtfulness,and less anxiety to please than when theylast met,were plainly expressed.She was disappointed,and angry with herself for being so.
'Could I expect it to be otherwise!'said she.'Yet why did he come?'
She was in no humour for conversation with any one but himself;and to him she had hardly courage to speak.