第323章
She whispered “Yes” before she even thought. It was almost as if he had willed the word and she had spoken it without her own volition. But even as she spoke it, a sudden calm fell on her spirit, her head began to stop spinning and even the giddiness of the brandy was lessened. She had promised to marry him when she had had no intention of promising. She hardly knew how it had all come about but she was not sorry. It now seemed very natural that she had said Yes—almost as if by divine intervention, a hand stronger than hers was about her affairs, settling her problems for her.
He drew a quick breath as she spoke and bent as if to kiss her again and her eyes closed and her head fell back. But he drew back and she was faintly disappointed. It made her feel so strange to be kissed like this and yet there was something exciting about it.
He sat very still for a while holding her head against his shoulder and, as if by effort, the trembling of his arms ceased. He moved away from her a little and looked down at her. She opened her eyes and saw that the frightening glow had gone from his face. But somehow she could not meet his gaze and she dropped her eyes in a rush of tingling confusion.
When he spoke his voice was very calm.
“You meant it? You don’t want to take it back?”
“No.”
“It’s not just because I’ve—what is the phrase?—‘swept you off your feet’ by my—er—ardor?”
She could not answer for she did not know what to say, nor could she meet his eyes. He put a hand under her chin and lifted her face.
“I told you once that I could stand anything from you except a lie. And now I want the truth. Just why did you say Yes?”
Still the words would not come, but, a measure of poise returning, she kept her eyes demurely down and tucked the corners of her mouth into a little smile.
“Look at me. Is it my money?”
“Why, Rhett! What a question!”
“Look up and don’t try to sweet talk me. I’m not Charles or Frank or any of the County boys to be taken in by your fluttering lids. Is it my money?”
“Well—yes, a part.”
“A part?”
He did not seem annoyed. He drew a swift breath and with an effort wiped from his eyes the eagerness her words had brought, an eagerness which she was too confused to see.
“Well,” she floundered helplessly, “money does help, you know, Rhett, and God knows Frank didn’t leave any too much. But then—well, Rhett, we do get on, you know. And you are the only man I ever saw who could stand the truth from a woman, and it would be nice having a husband who didn’t think me a silly fool and expect me to tell lies—and—well, I am fond of you.”
“Fond of me?”
“Well,” she said fretfully, “if I said I was madly in love with you, I’d be lying and what’s more, you’d know it.”
“Sometimes I think you carry your truth telling too far, my pet. Don’t you think, even if it was a lie, that it would be appropriate for you to say ‘I love you, Rhett,’ even if you didn’t mean it?”
What was he driving at, she wondered, becoming more confused. He looked so queer, eager, hurt, mocking. He took his hands from her and shoved them deep in his trousers pockets and she saw him ball his fists.
“If it costs me a husband, I’ll tell the truth,” she thought grimly, her blood up as always when he baited her.
“Rhett, it would be a lie, and why should we go through all that foolishness? I’m fond of you, like I said. You know how it is. You told me once that you didn’t love me but that we had a lot in common. Both rascals, was the way you—”
“Oh, God!” be whispered rapidly, turning his head away. “To be taken in my own trap!”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing,” and he looked at her and laughed, but it was not a pleasant laugh; “Name the day, my dear,” and he laughed again and bent and kissed her hands. She was relieved to see his mood pass and good humor apparently return, so she smiled too.
He played with her hand for a moment and grinned up at her.
“Did you ever in your novel reading come across the old situation of the disinterested wife falling in love with her own husband?”
“You know I don’t read novels,” she said and, trying to equal his jesting mood, went on: “Besides, you once said it was the height of bad form for husbands and wives to love each other.”
“I once said too God damn many things,” he retorted abruptly and rose to his feet.
“Don’t swear.”
“You’ll have to get used to it and learn to swear too. You’ll have to get used to all my bad habits. That’ll be part of the price of being—fond of me and getting your pretty paws on my money.”
“Well, don’t fly off the handle so, because I didn’t lie and make you feel conceited. You aren’t in love with me, are you? Why should I be in love with you?”
“No, my dear, I’m not in love with you, no more than you are with me, and if I were, you would be the last person I’d ever tell. God help the man who ever really loves you. You’d break his heart, my darling, cruel, destructive little cat who is so careless and confident she doesn’t even trouble to sheathe her claws.”
He jerked her to her feet and kissed her again, but this time his lips were different for he seemed not to care if he hurt her—seemed to want to hurt her, to insult her. His lips slid down to her throat and finally he pressed them against the taffeta over her breast, so hard and so long that his breath burnt to her skin. Her hands struggled up, pushing him away in outraged modesty.
“You mustn’t! How dare you!”
“Your heart’s going like a rabbit’s,” he said mockingly. “All too fast for mere fondness I would think, if I were conceited. Smooth your ruffled feathers. You are just putting on these virginal airs. Tell me what I shall bring you from England. A ring? What kind would you like?”
She wavered momentarily between interest in his last words and a feminine desire to prolong the scene with anger and indignation.
“Oh—a diamond ring—and Rhett, do buy a great big one.”
“So you can flaunt it before your poverty-stricken friends and say ‘See what I caught!’ Very well, you shall have a big one, one so big that your less-fortunate friends can comfort themselves by whispering that it’s really vulgar to wear such large stones.”
He abruptly started off across the room and she followed him, bewildered, to the closed doors.