第15章

gear.They never goes ag'inst that axle grease game for so much as a single box; said ointment is a drug.When he don't dispose of it none, Johnny stores it out onder a shed some twenty rods away, an'

regyards it as a total loss.

"'Axle grease,' says Johnny, 'makes a p'int in civilization to which the savage has not yet clambered, an' them optimists, East, who sends it on yere, should have never made no sech break.'

"Mebby it's because this axle grease grows sullen an' feels neglected that a-way; mebby it's the heats of two summers an' the frosts of two winters which sp'iles its disp'sition; shore it is at any rate that at the time I'm thar, that onguent seems fretted to the core, an' is givin' forth a protestin' fragrance that has stood off a coyote an' made him quit at a distance of two hundred yards.

You might even say it has caused Nacher herse'f to pause an' catch her breath.

"It's when the ailin' Osage, whose malady is too deep-seated to be reached by cinnamon or pimento, comes frontin' up for a third preescription, that the axle grease idee seizes Johnny.

"'Father,' says Johnny, 'come with me.Your son will now saw off some big medicine on you; a medicine meant for full-blown gents like you an' me.Come, father, come with your son, an' you shall be cured in half the time it takes to run a loop on a lariat.'

"Johnny breaks open one of the axle grease boxes, arms the savage with a chip for a spoon, an' exhorts him to cut in on it a whole lot.

"Son, the odors of them wares is awful; Kansas butter is violets to it; but it never flutters that Osage.Ile takes Johnny's chip an'

goes to work, spadin' that axle grease into his mouth, like he ain't got a minute to live.When he's got away with half the box, he tucks the balance onder his blanket an' retires to his teepee with a look of gratitoode on his face.His heart has ceased to be bad, an' them illnesses, which aforetime has him on the go, surrenders to the powers of this yere new medicine like willows to the wind.With this, he goes caperin' out for his camp, idly hummin' a war song, sech is his relief.

"An' here's where Johnny gets action on that axle grease.It shorely teaches, also, the excellence of them maxims, 'Cast your bread upon the waters an' you'll be on velvec before many days.' Within two hours a couple of this sick buck's squaws comes sidlin' tip to Johnny an' desires axle grease.It's quoted at four bits a box, an'

the squaws changes in five pesos an' beats a retreat, carryin' away ten boxes.Then the fame of this big, new medicine spreads; that axle grease becomes plenty pop'lar.Other bucks an' other squaws shows up, changes in their money, an' is made happy with axle grease.They never has sech a time, them Osages don't, since the battle of the Hoss-shoe.Son, they packs it off in blankets, freights it away in wagons.They turns loose on a reg'lar axle grease spree.In a week every box is sold, an' thar's orders stacked up on Florer's desk for two kyar-loads more, which is bein' hurried on from the East.Even the Injuns' agent gets wrought up about it, an' begins to bellow an' paw 'round by way of compliments to Johnny.

He makes Johnny a speech.

"'Which I've made your excellent discovery, Mr.Florer,' says this agent, 'the basis of a report to the gov'ment at Washin'ton.I sets forth the mad passion of these yere Osages for axle grease as a condiment, a beverage, an' a cure.I explains the tribal leanin'

that exists for that speshul axle grease which is crowned with years, an' owns a strength which comes only as the cor'lary of hard experience.Axle grease is like music an' sooths the savage breast.

It is oil on the troubled waters of aboriginal existence.Its feet is the feet of peace.At the touch of axle grease the hostile abandons the war path an' surrenders himse'f.He washes off his paint an' becometh with axle grease as the lamb that bleateth.The greatest possible uprisin' could be quelled with a consignment of axle grease.Mr.Florer, I congratulate you.From a humble store-keep, sellin' soap, herrin' an' salt hoss, you takes your stand from now with the ph'lanthropists an' leaders among men.You have conjoined Injuns an' axle grease.For centuries the savage has been a problem which has defied gov'ment.He will do so no more.Mr.

Florer, you have solved the savage with axle grease.'"