第33章 GRIT OF WOMEN(5)

"And she said: 'When first you came to the Chilcat, nor looked upon me, but bought me as a man buys a dog, and took me away, my heart was hard against you and filled with bitterness and fear.

But that was long ago.For you were kind to me, Charley, as a good man is kind to his dog.Your heart was cold, and there was no room for me; yet you dealt me fair and your ways were just.

And I was with you when you did bold deeds and led great ventures, and I measured you against the men of other breeds, and I saw you stood among them full of honor, and your word was wise, your tongue true.And I grew proud of you, till it came that you filled all my heart, and all my thought was of you.You were as the midsummer sun, when its golden trail runs in a circle and never leaves the sky.And whatever way I cast my eyes I beheld the sun.But your heart was ever cold, Charley, and there was no room.'

"And I said: 'It is so.It was cold, and there was no room.But that is past.Now my heart is like the snowfall in the spring, when the sun has come back.There is a great thaw and a bending, a sound of running waters, and a budding and sprouting of green things.And there is drumming of partridges, and songs of robins, and great music, for the winter is broken, Passuk, and I have learned the love of woman.'

"She smiled and moved for me to draw her closer.And she said, 'Iam glad.' After that she lay quiet for a long time, breathing softly, her head upon my breast.Then she whispered: 'The trail ends here, and I am tired.But first I would speak of other things.In the long ago, when I was a girl on the Chilcat, Iplayed alone among the skin bales of my father's lodge; for the men were away on the hunt, and the women and boys were dragging in the meat.It was in the spring, and I was alone.A great brown bear, just awake from his winter's sleep, hungry, his fur hanging to the bones in flaps of leanness, shoved his head within the lodge and said, "Oof!" My brother came running back with the first sled of meat.And he fought the bear with burning sticks from the fire, and the dogs in their harnesses, with the sled behind them, fell upon the bear.There was a great battle and much noise.They rolled in the fire, the skin bales were scattered, the lodge overthrown.But in the end the bear lay dead, with the fingers of my brother in his mouth and the marks of his claws upon my brother's face.Did you mark the Indian by the Pelly trail, his mitten which had no thumb, his hand which he warmed by our fire? He was my brother.And I said he should have no grub.And he went away in the Silence without grub.'

"This, my brothers, was the love of Passuk, who died in the snow, by the Caribou Crossing.It was a mighty love, for she denied her brother for the man who led her away on weary trails to a bitter end.And, further, such was this woman's love, she denied herself.Ere her eyes closed for the last time she took my hand and slipped it under her squirrel-skin parka to her waist.I felt there a well-filled pouch, and learned the secret of her lost strength.Day by day we had shared fair, to the last least bit;and day by day but half her share had she eaten.The other half had gone into the well-filled pouch.

"And she said: 'This is the end of the trail for Passuk; but your trail, Charley, leads on and on, over the great Chilcoot, down to Haines Mission and the sea.And it leads on and on, by the light of many suns, over unknown lands and strange waters, and it is full of years and honors and great glories.It leads you to the lodges of many women, and good women, but it will never lead you to a greater love than the love of Passuk.'

"And I knew the woman spoke true.But a madness came upon me, and I threw the well-filled pouch from me, and swore that my trail had reached an end, till her tired eyes grew soft with tears, and she said: 'Among men has Sitka Charley walked in honor, and ever has his word been true.Does he forget that honor now, and talk vain words by the Caribou Crossing? Does he remember no more the men of Forty Mile, who gave him of their grub the best, of their dogs the pick? Ever has Passuk been proud of her man.Let him lift himself up, gird on his snow-shoes, and begone, that she may still keep her pride.'

"And when she grew cold in my arms I arose, and sought out the well-filled pouch, and girt on my snowshoes, and staggered along the trail; for there was a weakness in my knees, and my head was dizzy, and in my ears there was a roaring, and a flashing of fire upon my eyes.The forgotten trails of boyhood came back to me.Isat by the full pots of the potlach feast, and raised my voice in song, and danced to the chanting of the men and maidens and the booming of the walrus drums.And Passuk held my hand and walked by my side.When I laid down to sleep, she waked me.When Istumbled and fell, she raised me.When I wandered in the deep snow, she led me back to the trail.And in this wise, like a man bereft of reason, who sees strange visions and whose thoughts are light with wine, I came to Haines Mission by the sea."Sitka Charley threw back the tent-flaps.It was midday.To the south, just clearing the bleak Henderson Divide, poised the cold-disked sun.On either hand the sun-dogs blazed.The air was a gossamer of glittering frost.In the foreground, beside the trail, a wolf-dog, bristling with frost, thrust a long snout heavenward and mourned.