第12章 A CAUTION TO TRAVELLERS(6)

"NOW it's coming," said the Major, with a grin: "her husband is jealous, I suppose, and there is a talk of the Bois de Boulogne: my dear sir, you can't refuse--can't refuse.""It's not that," said Pogson, wagging his head passionately.

"Her husband the Baron seemed quite as much taken with Pogson as his lady was, and has introduced him to some very distingue friends of his own set.Last night one of the Baron's friends gave a party in honor of my friend Pogson, who lost forty-eight pounds at cards BEFORE he was made drunk, and heaven knows how much after.""Not a shilling, by sacred heaven!--not a shilling!" yelled out Pogson."After the supper I 'ad such an 'eadach', I couldn't do anything but fall asleep on the sofa.""You 'ad such an 'eadach', sir," says British, sternly, who piques himself on his grammar and pronunciation, and scorns a cockney.

Such a H-eadache, sir," replied Pogson, with much meekness.

"The unfortunate man is brought home at two o'clock, as tipsy as possible, dragged up stairs, senseless, to bed, and, on waking, receives a visit from his entertainer of the night before--a lord's son, Major, a tip-top fellow,--who brings a couple of bills that my friend Pogson is said to have signed.""Well, my dear fellow, the thing's quite simple,--he must pay them.""I can't pay them."

"He can't pay them," said we both in a breath: "Pogson is a commercial traveller, with thirty shillings a week, and how the deuce is he to pay five hundred pounds?""A bagman, sir! and what right has a bagman to gamble? Gentlemen gamble, sir; tradesmen, sir, have no business with the amusements of the gentry.What business had you with barons and lords' sons, sir?--serve you right, sir.""Sir," says Pogson, with some dignity, "merit, and not birth, is the criterion of a man: I despise an hereditary aristocracy, and admire only Nature's gentlemen.For my part, I think that a British merch--""Hold your tongue, sir," bounced out the Major, "and don't lecture me; don't come to me, sir, with your slang about Nature's gentlemen--Nature's tomfools, sir! Did Nature open a cash account for you at a banker's, sir? Did Nature give you an education, sir?

What do you mean by competing with people to whom Nature has given all these things? Stick to your bags, Mr.Pogson, and your bagmen, and leave barons and their like to their own ways.""Yes, but, Major," here cried that faithful friend, who has always stood by Pogson; "they won't leave him alone.""The honorable gent says I must fight if I don't pay," whimpered Sam.

"What! fight YOU? Do you mean that the honorable gent, as you call him, will go out with a bagman?""He doesn't know I'm a--I'm a commercial man," blushingly said Sam:

"he fancies I'm a military gent."