第66章

- I don't think I have a genuine hatred for anybody.I am well aware that I differ herein from the sturdy English moralist and the stout American tragedian.I don't deny that I hate THE SIGHT of certain people; but the qualities which make me tend to hate the man himself are such as I am so much disposed to pity, that, except under immediate aggravation, I feel kindly enough to the worst of them.It is such a sad thing to be born a sneaking fellow, so much worse than to inherit a hump-back or a couple of club-feet, that Isometimes feel as if we ought to love the crippled souls, if I may use this expression, with a certain tenderness which we need not waste on noble natures.One who is born with such congenital incapacity that nothing can make a gentleman of him is entitled, not to our wrath, but to our profoundest sympathy.But as we cannot help hating the sight of these people, just as we do that of physical deformities, we gradually eliminate them from our society, - we love them, but open the window and let them go.By the time decent people reach middle age they have weeded their circle pretty well of these unfortunates, unless they have a taste for such animals; in which case, no matter what their position may be, there is something, you may be sure, in their natures akin to that of their wretched parasites.

- The divinity-student wished to know what I thought of affinities, as well as of antipathies; did I believe in love at first sight?

Sir, - said I, - all men love all women.That is the PRIMA-FACIEaspect of the case.The Court of Nature assumes the law to be, that all men do so; and the individual man is bound to show cause why he does not love any particular woman.A man, says one of my old black-letter law-books, may show divers good reasons, as thus:

He hath not seen the person named in the indictment; she is of tender age, or the reverse of that; she hath certain personal disqualifications, - as, for instance, she is a blackamoor, or hath an ill-favored countenance; or, his capacity of loving being limited, his affections are engrossed by a previous comer; and so of other conditions.Not the less is it true that he is bound by duty and inclined by nature to love each and every woman.

Therefore it is that each woman virtually summons every man to show cause why he doth not love her.This is not by written document, or direct speech, for the most part, but by certain signs of silk, gold, and other materials, which say to all men, - Look on me and love, as in duty bound.Then the man pleadeth his special incapacity, whatsoever that may be, - as, for instance, impecuniosity, or that he hath one or many wives in his household, or that he is of mean figure, or small capacity; of which reasons it may be noted, that the first is, according to late decisions, of chiefest authority.- So far the old law-book.But there is a note from an older authority, saying that every woman doth also love each and every man, except there be some good reason to the contrary; and a very observing friend of mine, a young unmarried clergyman, tells me, that, so far as his experience goes, he has reason to think the ancient author had fact to justify his statement.

I'll tell you how it is with the pictures of women we fall in love with at first sight.

- We a'n't talking about pictures, - said the landlady's daughter, - we're talking about women.

I understood that we were speaking of love at sight, - I remarked, mildly.- Now, as all a man knows about a woman whom he looks at is just what a picture as big as a copper, or a "nickel," rather, at the bottom of his eye can teach him, I think I am right in saying we are talking about the pictures of women.- Well, now, the reason why a man is not desperately in love with ten thousand women at once is just that which prevents all our portraits being distinctly seen upon that wall.They all ARE painted there by reflection from our faces, but because ALL of them are painted on each spot, and each on the same surface, and many other objects at the same time, no one is seen as a picture.But darken a chamber and let a single pencil of rays in through a key-hole, then you have a picture on the wall.We never fall in love with a woman in distinction from women, until we can get an image of her through a pin-hole; and then we can see nothing else, and nobody but ourselves can see the image in our mental camera-obscura.

- My friend, the Poet, tells me he has to leave town whenever the anniversaries come round.

What's the difficulty? - Why, they all want him to get up and make speeches, or songs, or toasts; which is just the very thing he doesn't want to do.He is an old story, he says, and hates to show on these occasions.But they tease him, and coax him, and can't do without him, and feel all over his poor weak head until they get their fingers on the FONTANELLE, (the Professor will tell you what this means, - he says the one at the top of the head always remains open in poets,) until, by gentle pressure on that soft pulsating spot, they stupefy him to the point of acquiescence.