第55章

Our own name is, unfortunately, one on which jokes, such as they are, can be made, we cannot present a tabular statement of the times we have done things brown (in the opinion of partial friends) or have been asked if we were related to the eccentric old slave and horse "liberator," whose recent Virginia Reel has attracted so much of the public attention.Could we do so the array of figures would be appalling.And sometimes we think we will accept the first good offer of marriage that is made to us, for the purpose of changing our unhappy name, setting other interesting considerations entirely aside.

1.60.HE FOUND HE WOULD.

Several years ago Bill McCracken lived in Peru, Indiana.(We were in Peru several years ago, and it was a nice place we DON'T think.)Mr.McCracken was a screamer, and had whipped all the recognized fighting men on the Wabash.One day somebody told him that Jack Long, blacksmith of Logansport, said he would give him (McCracken) a protracted fit of sickness if he would just come down there and smell of his bones.The McCracken at once laid in a stock of provisions, consisting of whisky in glass and chickens in the shell, and started for Logansport.In a few days, he was brought home in a bunged-up condition, on a cot-bed.One eye was gouged out, a portion of his nose was chawed off, his left arm was in a sling, his head was done up in an old rag, and he was pretty badly off himself.

He was set down in the village bar-room, and turning to the crowd he, in a feeble voice, said, hot tears bedewing his face the while, "Boys, you know Jack Long said if I'd come down to Loginsput he'd whale h--ll out of me; and boys, you know I didn't believe it, but I've been down thar and I FOUND HE WOULD."He recovered after a lapse of years and led a better life.As he said himself, he returned from Logansport a changed man.

1.61."BURIAL IN RICHMOND AND RESURRECTION IN BOSTON."A drama with this title, written by a colored citizen (an artist by profession), the characters being performed by colored citizens, was played at the Melodeon last evening.There were several white persons present, though most of the audience were colored.The great variety of colors made a gay, and indeed we may say gorgeous spectacle.

A hasty sketch of this great moral production may not be uninteresting.Act 1st, scene 1st, discloses a log-cabin, with fifteen minutes' intermission between each log."William, a spirited slave," and "John, the obedient slave," are in the cabin.

William, the spirited slave, says he will be free, "Why," says William, "am I here thus? Was this frame made to be in bondage?

Shall THESE voices be hushed? Never, never, never!" "Oh, don't say it thus," says John, the obedient slave, "for thus it should not be.

An' I tole ye what it was, now, jes take keer of them pistiles or they'll work yer ruins.Mind what I say, Wilyim.As for me I shall stay here with my dear Julia!" (Immense applause)."And so it has come to this, ha?" said William, the spirited slave, standing himself up and brandishing his arms in a terrific manner."And so it has come to this, ha? And this is a free land, so it has come to this--to this--TO THIS." William appeared to be somewhat confused at this point, but a wealthy newsboy in the audience helped him out by crying, "or any other man." John and William then embraced, bitter tears moistening their manly breasts."Farwel, Wilyim," said John, the obedient slave, "and bless you, bless you, me child." The spirited slave walks off and the obedient slave falls into a swoon.

Tableau: The Goddess of Liberty appears in a mackinaw blanket and pours incense on the obedient slave.A member of the orchestra gets up and softly warbles on a bass drum.Angels are heard singing in the distance.Curtain falls, the audience being soaking wet with tears.

Act 2, scene first, discloses the house of Mr.Lyons, a slaveholder in Virginia.Mr.Lyons, as we learn by the play, is "a member of the Whig Congress." He learns that William, his spirited slave, has escaped.This makes him very angry, and he says he will break every bone in William's body.He goes out and searches for William, but cannot find him, and comes back.He takes a heavy drink, is stricken with remorse, and declares his intention to become a nun.

John, the obedient slave, comes in and asks permission to marry Julia.Mr.Lyons says, certainly, by all means, and preparations are made for the wedding.

The wedding takes place.The scene that follows is rather incomprehensible.A young mariner has a clandestine interview with the obedient slave, and receives 10 dollars to make a large box.An elderly mariner, not that mariner, but another mariner--rushes madly in and fires a horse-pistol into the air.He wheels and is about going off, when a black Octoroon rushes madly in and fires another horse-pistol at the retreating mariner, who falls.He says he is going to make a die of it.Says he should have acted differently if he had only done otherwise, which was right, or else it wouldn't be so.He forgets his part and don't say anything more, but he wraps himself up in the American flag and expires like a son of a gentleman.More warblings on the bass drum.The rest of the orchestra endeavor to accompany the drum, but are so deeply affected that they can't.There is a death-like stillness in the house.All was so still that had a cannon been fired off it could have been distinctly seen.