第10章

SHE was always in mourning, yet the day he came back from the longest absence he had yet made her appearance immediately told him she had lately had a bereavement.They met on this occasion as she was leaving the church, so that postponing his own entrance he instantly offered to turn round and walk away with her.She considered, then she said: "Go in now, but come and see me in an hour." He knew the small vista of her street, closed at the end and as dreary as an empty pocket, where the pairs of shabby little houses, semi-detached but indissolubly united, were like married couples on bad terms.Often, however, as he had gone to the beginning he had never gone beyond.Her aunt was dead - that he immediately guessed, as well as that it made a difference; but when she had for the first time mentioned her number he found himself, on her leaving him, not a little agitated by this sudden liberality.She wasn't a person with whom, after all, one got on so very fast: it had taken him months and months to learn her name, years and years to learn her address.If she had looked, on this reunion, so much older to him, how in the world did he look to her? She had reached the period of life he had long since reached, when, after separations, the marked clock-face of the friend we meet announces the hour we have tried to forget.He couldn't have said what he expected as, at the end of his waiting, he turned the corner where for years he had always paused; simply not to pause was a efficient cause for emotion.It was an event, somehow; and in all their long acquaintance there had never been an event.This one grew larger when, five minutes later, in the faint elegance of her little drawing-room, she quavered out a greeting that showed the measure she took of it.He had a strange sense of having come for something in particular; strange because literally there was nothing particular between them, nothing save that they were at one on their great point, which had long ago become a magnificent matter of course.It was true that after she had said "You can always come now, you know," the thing he was there for seemed already to have happened.He asked her if it was the death of her aunt that made the difference; to which she replied: "She never knew I knew you.I wished her not to." The beautiful clearness of her candour - her faded beauty was like a summer twilight -disconnected the words from any image of deceit.They might have struck him as the record of a deep dissimulation; but she had always given him a sense of noble reasons.The vanished aunt was present, as he looked about him, in the small complacencies of the room, the beaded velvet and the fluted moreen; and though, as we know, he had the worship of the Dead, he found himself not definitely regretting this lady.If she wasn't in his long list, however, she was in her niece's short one, and Stransom presently observed to the latter that now at least, in the place they haunted together, she would have another object of devotion.