第49章
THE PATH TO HEAVEN
The day succeeding that on which Seraphita foresaw her death and bade farewell to Earth, as a prisoner looks round his dungeon before leaving it forever, she suffered pains which obliged her to remain in the helpless immobility of those whose pangs are great.Wilfrid and Minna went to see her, and found her lying on her couch of furs.Still veiled in flesh, her soul shone through that veil, which grew more and more transparent day by day.The progress of the Spirit, piercing the last obstacle between itself and the Infinite, was called an illness, the hour of Life went by the name of death.David wept as he watched her sufferings; unreasonable as a child, he would not listen to his mistress's consolations.Monsieur Becker wished Seraphita to try remedies; but all were useless.
One morning she sent for the two beings whom she loved, telling them that this would be the last of her bad days.Wilfrid and Minna came in terror, knowing well that they were about to lose her.Seraphita smiled to them as one departing to a better world; her head drooped like a flower heavy with dew, which opens its calyx for the last time to waft its fragrance on the breeze.She looked at these friends with a sadness that was for them, not for herself; she thought no longer of herself, and they felt this with a grief mingled with gratitude which they were unable to express.Wilfrid stood silent and motionless, lost in thoughts excited by events whose vast bearings enabled him to conceive of some illimitable immensity.
Emboldened by the weakness of the being lately so powerful, or perhaps by the fear of losing him forever, Minna bent down over the couch and said, "Seraphitus, let me follow thee!""Can I forbid thee?"
"Why will thou not love me enough to stay with me?""I can love nothing here."
"What canst thou love?"
"Heaven."
"Is it worthy of heaven to despise the creatures of God?""Minna, can we love two beings at once? Would our beloved be indeed our beloved if he did not fill our hearts? Must he not be the first, the last, the only one? She who is all love, must she not leave the world for her beloved? Human ties are but a memory, she has no ties except to him! Her soul is hers no longer; it is his.If she keeps within her soul anything that is not his, does she love? No, she loves not.To love feebly, is that to love at all? The voice of her beloved makes her joyful; it flows through her veins in a crimson tide more glowing far than blood; his glance is the light that penetrates her;her being melts into his being.He is warm to her soul.He is the light that lightens; near to him there is neither cold nor darkness.
He is never absent, he is always with us; we think in him, to him, by him! Minna, that is how I love him.""Love whom?" said Minna, tortured with sudden jealousy.
"God," replied Seraphitus, his voice glowing in their souls like fires of liberty from peak to peak upon the mountains,--"God, who does not betray us! God, who will never abandon us! who crowns our wishes; who satisfies His creatures with joy--joy unalloyed and infinite! God, who never wearies but ever smiles! God, who pours into the soul fresh treasures day by day; who purifies and leaves no bitterness; who is all harmony, all flame! God, who has placed Himself within our hearts to blossom there; who hearkens to our prayers; who does not stand aloof when we are His, but gives His presence absolutely! He who revives us, magnifies us, and multiplies us in Himself; GOD! Minna, Ilove thee because thou mayst be His! I love thee because if thou come to Him thou wilt be mine.""Lead me to Him," cried Minna, kneeling down; "take me by the hand; Iwill not leave thee!"
"Lead us, Seraphita!" cried Wilfrid, coming to Minna's side with an impetuous movement."Yes, thou hast given me a thirst for Light, a thirst for the Word.I am parched with the Love thou hast put into my heart; I desire to keep thy soul in mine; thy will is mine; I will do whatsoever thou biddest me.Since I cannot obtain thee, I will keep thy will and all the thoughts that thou hast given me.If I may not unite myself with thee except by the power of my spirit, I will cling to thee in soul as the flame to what it laps.Speak!""Angel!" exclaimed the mysterious being, enfolding them both in one glance, as it were with an azure mantle, "Heaven shall by thine heritage!"Silence fell among them after these words, which sounded in the souls of the man and of the woman like the first notes of some celestial harmony.
"If you would teach your feet to tread the Path to heaven, know that the way is hard at first," said the weary sufferer; "God wills that you shall seek Him for Himself.In that sense, He is jealous; He demands your whole self.But when you have given Him yourself, never, never will He abandon you.I leave with you the keys of the kingdom of His Light, where evermore you shall dwell in the bosom of the Father, in the heart of the Bridegroom.No sentinels guard the approaches, you may enter where you will; His palaces, His treasures, His sceptre, all are free.'Take them!' He says.But--you must WILL to go there.Like one preparing for a journey, a man must leave his home, renounce his projects, bid farewell to friends, to father, mother, sister, even to the helpless brother who cries after him,--yes, farewell to them eternally; you will no more return than did the martyrs on their way to the stake.You must strip yourself of every sentiment, of everything to which man clings.Unless you do this you are but half-hearted in your enterprise.