第16章

"Didn't the fools ask you to dance? Ah! You needn't tell me.That's it.I've been here for the last three dances and you weren't in sight till you came to the window.Well, what do you care about that for?""I don't!" she answered."I don't!" Then suddenly, without being able to prevent it, she sobbed.

"No," he said, gently, "I see you don't.And you let yourself be a fool because there are a lot of fools in there."She gave way, all at once, to a gust of sorrow and bitterness; she bent far over and caught his hand and laid it against her wet cheek."Oh, Joe," she whispered, brokenly, "I think we have such hard lives, you and I! It doesn't seem right --while we're so young! Why can't we be like the others? Why can't we have some of the fun?"He withdrew his hand, with the embarrassment and shame he would have felt had she been a boy.

"Get out!" he said, feebly.

She did not seem to notice, but, still stooping, rested her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands."I try so hard to have fun, to be like the rest,--and it's always a mistake, always, always, always!" She rocked herself, slightly, from side to side."I am a fool, it's the truth, or I wouldn't have come to-night.I want to be attractive--Iwant to be in things.I want to laugh like they do--""To laugh just to laugh, and not because there's something funny?""Yes, I do, I do! And to know how to dress and to wear my hair--there must be some place where you can learn those things.I've never had any one to show me! Ah! Grandfather said something like that this afternoon--poor man!

We're in the same case.If we only had some one to show us! It all seems so BLIND, here in Canaan, for him and me! I don't say it's not my own fault as much as being poor.I've been a hoyden;I don't feel as if I'd learned how to be a girl yet, Joe.It's only lately I've cared, but I'm seventeen, Joe, and--and to-day--to-day--I was sent home--and to-night--" She faltered, came to a stop, and her whole body was shaken with sobs.

"I hate myself so for crying--for everything!""I'll tell you something," he whispered, chuckling desperately."'Gene made me unpack his trunk, and I don't believe he's as great a man at college as he is here.I opened one of his books, and some one had written in it, `Prigamaloo Bantry, the Class Try-To-Be'! He'd never noticed, and you ought to have heard him go on! You'd have just died, Ariel--I almost bust wide open! It was a mean trick in me, but I couldn't help showing it to him."Joe's object was obtained.She stopped crying, and, wiping her eyes, smiled faintly.Then she became grave."You're jealous of Eugene," she said.

He considered this for a moment."Yes," he answered, thoughtfully, "I am.But I wouldn't think about him differently on that account.And I wouldn't talk about him to any one but you.""Not even to--" She left the question unfinished.

"No," he said, quietly."Of course not.""No? Because it wouldn't be any use?""I don't know.I never have a chance to talk to her, anyway.""Of course you don't!" Her voice had grown steady."You say I'm a fool.What are you?""You needn't worry about me," he began."Ican take care--""'SH!" she whispered, warningly.The music had stopped, a loud clatter of voices and laughter succeeding it.

"What need to be careful," Joe assured her, "with all that noise going on?""You must go away," she said, anxiously."Oh, please, Joe!""Not yet; I want--"She coughed loudly.Eugene and Mamie Pike had come to the window, with the evident intention of occupying the veranda, but perceiving Ariel engaged with threads in her sleeve, they turned away and disappeared.Other couples looked out from time to time, and finding the solitary figure in possession, retreated abruptly to seek stairways and remote corners for the things they were impelled to say.

And so Ariel held the porch for three dances and three intermissions, occupying a great part of the time with entreaties that her obdurate and reckless companion should go.When, for the fourth time, the music sounded, her agitation had so increased that she was visibly trembling."Ican't stand it, Joe," she said, bending over him.

"I don't know what would happen if they found you.You've GOT to go!""No, I haven't," he chuckled."They haven't even distributed the supper yet!""And you take all the chances," she said, slowly, "just to see her pass that window a few times.""What chances?""Of what the Judge will do if any one sees you.""Nothing; because if any one saw me I'd leave.""Please go.""Not till--"

"'SH!"

A colored waiter, smiling graciously, came out upon the porch bearing a tray of salad, hot oysters, and coffee.Ariel shook her head.