第1章
EDINBURGH, JUNE 25, 1841.
[At a public dinner, given in honour of Mr.Dickens, and presided over by the late Professor Wilson, the Chairman having proposed his health in a long and eloquent speech, Mr.Dickens returned thanks as follows:-]
IF I felt your warm and generous welcome less, I should be better able to thank you.If I could have listened as you have listened to the glowing language of your distinguished Chairman, and if Icould have heard as you heard the "thoughts that breathe and words that burn," which he has uttered, it would have gone hard but Ishould have caught some portion of his enthusiasm, and kindled at his example.But every word which fell from his lips, and every demonstration of sympathy and approbation with which you received his eloquent expressions, renders me unable to respond to his kindness, and leaves me at last all heart and no lips, yearning to respond as I would do to your cordial greeting - possessing, heaven knows, the will, and desiring only to find the way.
The way to your good opinion, favour, and support, has been to me very pleasing - a path strewn with flowers and cheered with sunshine.I feel as if I stood amongst old friends, whom I had intimately known and highly valued.I feel as if the deaths of the fictitious creatures, in which you have been kind enough to express an interest, had endeared us to each other as real afflictions deepen friendships in actual life; I feel as if they had been real persons, whose fortunes we had pursued together in inseparable connexion, and that I had never known them apart from you.
It is a difficult thing for a man to speak of himself or of his works.But perhaps on this occasion I may, without impropriety, venture to say a word on the spirit in which mine were conceived.
I felt an earnest and humble desire, and shall do till I die, to increase the stock of harmless cheerfulness.I felt that the world was not utterly to be despised; that it was worthy of living in for many reasons.I was anxious to find, as the Professor has said, if I could, in evil things, that soul of goodness which the Creator has put in them.I was anxious to show that virtue may be found in the bye-ways of the world, that it is not incompatible with poverty and even with rags, and to keep steadily through life the motto, expressed in the burning words of your Northern poet -"The rank is but the guinea stamp, The man's the gowd for a' that."And in following this track, where could I have better assurance that I was right, or where could I have stronger assurance to cheer me on than in your kindness on this to me memorable night?
I am anxious and glad to have an opportunity of saying a word in reference to one incident in which I am happy to know you were interested, and still more happy to know, though it may sound paradoxical, that you were disappointed - I mean the death of the little heroine.When I first conceived the idea of conducting that simple story to its termination, I determined rigidly to adhere to it, and never to forsake the end I had in view.Not untried in the school of affliction, in the death of those we love, I thought what a good thing it would be if in my little work of pleasant amusement I could substitute a garland of fresh flowers for the sculptured horrors which disgrace the tomb.If I have put into my book anything which can fill the young mind with better thoughts of death, or soften the grief of older hearts; if I have written one word which can afford pleasure or consolation to old or young in time of trial, I shall consider it as something achieved -something which I shall be glad to look back upon in after life.
Therefore I kept to my purpose, notwithstanding that towards the conclusion of the story, I daily received letters of remonstrance, especially from the ladies.God bless them for their tender mercies! The Professor was quite right when he said that I had not reached to an adequate delineation of their virtues; and I fear that I must go on blotting their characters in endeavouring to reach the ideal in my mind.These letters were, however, combined with others from the sterner sex, and some of them were not altogether free from personal invective.But, notwithstanding, Ikept to my purpose, and I am happy to know that many of those who at first condemned me are now foremost in their approbation.