第163章

MISCELLANEOUS LETTERS OF 1887.LITERARY ARTICLES.PEACEFUL DAYS AT THEFARM.FAVORITE READING.APOLOGY TO MRS.CLEVELAND, ETC.

We have seen in the preceding chapter how unknown aspirants in one field or another were always seeking to benefit by Mark Twain's reputation.

Once he remarked, "The symbol of the human race ought to be an ax; every human being has one concealed about him somewhere." He declared when a stranger called on him, or wrote to him, in nine cases out of ten he could distinguish the gleam of the ax almost immediately.The following letter is closely related to those of the foregoing chapter, only that this one was mailed--not once, but many times, in some form adapted to the specific applicant.It does not matter to whom it was originally written, the name would not be recognized.

To Mrs.T.Concerning unearned credentials, etc.

HARTFORD, 1887.

MY DEAR MADAM,--It is an idea which many people have had, but it is of no value.I have seen it tried out many and many a time.I have seen a lady lecturer urged and urged upon the public in a lavishly complimentary document signed by Longfellow, Whittier, Holmes and some others of supreme celebrity, but--there was nothing in her and she failed.If there had been any great merit in her she never would have needed those men's help and (at her rather mature age,) would never have consented to ask for it.

There is an unwritten law about human successes, and your sister must bow to that law, she must submit to its requirements.In brief this law is:

1.No occupation without an apprenticeship.

2.No pay to the apprentice.

This law stands right in the way of the subaltern who wants to be a General before he has smelt powder; and it stands (and should stand) in everybody's way who applies for pay or position before he has served his apprenticeship and proved himself.Your sister's course is perfectly plain.Let her enclose this letter to Maj.J.B.Pond, and offer to lecture a year for $10 a week and her expenses, the contract to be annullable by him at any time, after a month's notice, but not annullable by her at all.The second year, he to have her services, if he wants them, at a trifle under the best price offered her by anybody else.

She can learn her trade in those two years, and then be entitled to remuneration--but she can not learn it in any less time than that, unless she is a human miracle.

Try it, and do not be afraid.It is the fair and right thing.If she wins, she will win squarely and righteously, and never have to blush.

Truly yours, S.L.CLEMENS.

Howells wrote, in February, offering to get a publisher to take the Library of Humor off Mark Twain's hands.Howells had been paid twenty-six hundred dollars for the work on it, and his conscience hurt him when he reflected that the book might never be used.In this letter he also refers to one of the disastrous inventions in which Clemens had invested--a method of casting brass dies for stamping book-covers and wall-paper.Howells's purpose was to introduce something of the matter into his next story.Mark Twain's reply gives us a light on this particular invention.

HARTFORD, Feb.15, '87.

DEAR HOWELLS,--I was in New York five days ago, and Webster mentioned the Library, and proposed to publish it a year or a year and half hence.

I have written him your proposition to-day.(The Library is part of the property of the C.L.W.& Co.firm.)I don't remember what that technical phrase was, but I think you will find it in any Cyclopedia under the head of "Brass." The thing I best remember is, that the self-styled "inventor" had a very ingenious way of keeping me from seeing him apply his invention: the first appointment was spoiled by his burning down the man's shop in which it was to be done, the night before; the second was spoiled by his burning down his own shop the night before.He unquestionably did both of these things.He really had no invention; the whole project was a blackmailing swindle, and cost me several thousand dollars.

The slip you sent me from the May "Study" has delighted Mrs.Clemens and me to the marrow.To think that thing might be possible to many; but to be brave enough to say it is possible to you only, I certainly believe.

The longer I live the clearer I perceive how unmatchable, how unapproachable, a compliment one pays when he says of a man "he has the courage (to utter) his convictions." Haven't you had reviewers talk Alps to you, and then print potato hills?

I haven't as good an opinion of my work as you hold of it, but I've always done what I could to secure and enlarge my good opinion of it.

I've always said to myself, "Everybody reads it and that's something--it surely isn't pernicious, or the most acceptable people would get pretty tired of it." And when a critic said by implication that it wasn't high and fine, through the remark "High and fine literature is wine" Iretorted (confidentially, to myself,) "yes, high and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water; but everybody likes water."You didn't tell me to return that proof-slip, so I have pasted it into my private scrap-book.None will see it there.With a thousand thanks.

Ys Ever MARK.

Our next letter is an unmailed answer, but it does not belong with the others, having been withheld for reasons of quite a different sort.Jeanette Gilder, then of the Critic, was one of Mark Twain's valued friends.In the comment which he made, when it was shown to him twenty-two years later, he tells us why he thinks this letter was not sent.The name, "Rest-and-be-Thankful," was the official title given to the summer place at Elmira, but it was more often known as "Quarry Farm."To Jeannette Gilder (not mailed):

HARTFORD, May 14, '87.