第36章 THE SECOND PART(7)

I have plucked the red roses and have not smelt them;I have wandered among the blooming flowers and have not seen them;I have been as a dry branch amid the fresh dews of May.Never,O never can I sufficiently repent Thy having been for many a day so near me,and my having been so far from Thee.

O,Thou sweet guest of pure souls,what a sorry welcome have I hitherto given Thee,what an ill return have I so frequently made Thee!How little desirous have I not shown myself of the sweet bread of angels!I had the precious balsam in my mouth,and felt it not.Ah,Thou delight of all angelic eyes,never as yet did I feel true delight in Thee!If it were announced to me that a bodily friend would visit me in the morning should I not rejoice at it all the night before?And yet,never did I prepare myself for the reception of Thee,as in reason I ought,Thou worthy guest,whom heaven and earth equally honour.Alas!how have I been wont to turn quickly away from Thee,how to drive Thee out of Thy own!O Eternal God,Thou even Thou Thyself,art here so truly present,and the angelic host is here,and yet I have approached so shyly and sluggishly.Of Thee I will say nothing;

but,truly,Lord,I know of no spot within many miles,whither,if I had known for certain of the presence of blessed angels,those high and noble guests who at all times behold Thee,I should not have repaired of my own accord,and even if I had not seen them,still my heart,on their account,would have leapt in my body for joy.O sweet Lord and God,that Thou Thyself,the Lord of all angels,shouldst have been present here,and shouldst have had with Thee so many angelic choirs,and that I should not have given more heed to the place;this,this must ever be a sore affliction for me!I ought,at all events,to have approached the place where I knew Thee to be thus present,even though nothing else might have come of it.God,how often have I stood distracted and without devotion on the very spot where Thou wast before me,and with me in the Blessed Sacrament;my body indeed stood there,but my heart was elsewhere.How often have I thought so little of Thee in Thy presence,that my heart has not even offered Thee an affectionate salutation,with a devout inclination.Gentle Lord,my eyes ought to have looked at Thee with joyous delight,my heart ought to have loved Thee with the fullness of desire,my mouth ought to have praised Thee with heartfelt,fervent jubilee;all my strength ought to have melted in Thy glad service.What did not Thy servant David do who leapt so joyously with all his might before the ark,in which there was nothing but corporal bread of heaven,nothing but corporal things!Lord,now do I stand here before Thee,and before all Thy angels,and with bitter tears fall at Thy feet.

Remember,O,remember,tender Lord,that here,before me,Thou art my flesh and my brother,and forego Thy displeasure.O,forgive me all the dishonour that ever I offered Thee,for I am sorry for it,and must ever be sorry for it;for the light of Thy wisdom begins only now to enlighten me;and the place where Thou art,not only according to Thy divinity,but according to Thy humanity,shall be honoured by me evermore.Ah,Thou sweetest good,Thou worthy Lord and lovely guest of my soul,another question would I gladly ask:Tell me,gentle Lord,what is it Thou givest Thy beloved with Thy real presence in the Sacrament,provided she receives Thee with love and desire?

Eternal Wisdom.--Is that a fitting question for a lover?What have I better than Myself?He who possesses the object of his love,what else has he to ask for?He who gives himself,what has he refused?I give Myself to thee,and take thee from thyself,and unite thee to Me.Thou loseth thyself,and art wholly transformed into Me.What does the sun in his brightest reflection bestow on the unclouded sky?Yes,what does the bright star of the morning dawn bestow on the dark night?Or what do the fair and ravishing adornments of summer bestow after the cold,wintry,melancholy season?

The Servant.--O Lord,they bestow precious gifts.

Eternal Wisdom.--They seem precious to thee because they are visible to thee.Behold,the smallest gift that flows from Me in the Blessed Sacrament reflects more splendour in eternity than any sunny brightness;it sheds more light than any morning star;it adorns thee more ravishingly in eternal beauty than ever did any adornment of summer the earth.Or is not My bright divinity more radiant than any sun,My noble soul more resplendent than any star,My glorified body more ravishing than any ravishment of summer?And yet all these things hast thou truly received here.

The Servant.--O Lord,why then are they not more sensibly felt?Lord,I often approach in such dryness that all light,all grace and sweetness are as strange to me,methinks,as to a man born blind,who never saw the sun.

Lord,if I may venture to say so,I could indeed wish that,in Thy real presence,Thou hadst given testimony of Thyself.

Eternal Wisdom.--The less the testimony,the purer thy faith and the greater thy reward.The Lord of nature operates with such secrecy a blessed increase in many a fair tree,that no eye nor other sense can perceive it till it is accomplished.Now,I am not an exteriorly working good,but an interiorly shining light;an interiorly working good which is so much the nobler as it is the more spiritual.

The Servant.--Alas!how few men there are who perceive this,who weigh thoroughly what they receive.They draw near like the rest generally,in an ill and inconsiderate manner,and,therefore,as they go up empty,they come away without grace.They do not ruminate their food so as to ponder what they have received.

Eternal Wisdom.--To the well prepared I am the bread of eternal life,to the little prepared the bread of dryness,but to the unprepared I am a deadly blow,an eternal curse.

The Servant.--O Lord,what a terrible thing is this!Lord,whom dost Thou call the well prepared,the little prepared,and the unprepared?