第46章 CHAPTER X.(4)
Her thoughts had gone back to this time even while Mr.Ness had been speaking;for it was there her father had lived,and it was after his death that her cares in search of a subsistence had begun.But the recollections of the peaceful years spent there were stronger than the remembrance of the weeks of sorrow and care;and,while Ellinor's marriage had seemed a probable event,she had made many a little plan of returning to her native place,and obtaining what daily teaching she could there meet with,and the friends to whom she was now writing had promised her their aid.She thought that as Ellinor had to leave Ford Bank,a home at a distance might be more agreeable to her,and she went on to plan that they should live together,if possible,on her earnings,and the small income that would be Ellinor's.Miss Monro loved her pupil so dearly,that,if her own pleasure only were to be consulted,this projected life would be more agreeable to her than if Mr.Wilkins's legacy had set her in independence,with Ellinor away from her,married,and with interests in which her former governess had but little part.
As soon as Mr.Ness had left her,Ellinor rang the bell,and startled the servant who answered it by her sudden sharp desire to have the horses at the door as soon as possible,and to tell Dixon to be ready to go out with her.
She felt that she must speak to him,and in her nervous state she wanted to be out on the free broad common,where no one could notice or remark their talk.It was long since she had ridden,and much wonder was excited by the sudden movement in kitchen and stable-yard.
But Dixon went gravely about his work of preparation,saying nothing.
They rode pretty hard till they reached Monk's Heath,six or seven miles away from Hamley.Ellinor had previously determined that here she would talk over the plan Mr.Ness had proposed to her with Dixon,and he seemed to understand her without any words passing between them.When she reined in he rode up to her,and met the gaze of her sad eyes with sympathetic,wistful silence.
"Dixon,"said she,"they say I must leave Ford Bank.""I was afeared on it,from all I've heerd say i'the town since the master's death.""Then you've heard--then you know--that papa has left hardly any money--my poor dear Dixon,you won't have your legacy,and I never thought of that before!""Never heed,never heed,"said he,eagerly;"I couldn't have touched it if it had been there,for the taking it would ha'seemed too like--"Blood-money,he was going to say,but he stopped in time.She guessed the meaning,though not the word he would have used.
"No,not that,"said she;"his will was dated years before.But oh,Dixon,what must I do?They will make me leave Ford Bank,I see.Ithink the trustees have half let it already.""But you'll have the rent on't,I reckon?"asked he,anxiously.
"I've many a time heerd 'em say as it was settled on the missus first,and then on you.""Oh,yes,it is not that;but you know,under the beech-tree--""Ay!"said he,heavily."It's been oftentimes on my mind,waking,and I think there's ne'er a night as I don't dream of it.""But how can I leave it!"Ellinor cried."They may do a hundred things--may dig up the shrubbery.Oh!Dixon,I feel as if it was sure to be found out!Oh!Dixon,I cannot bear any more blame on papa--it will kill me--and such a dreadful thing,too!"Dixon's face fell into the lines of habitual pain that it had always assumed of late years whenever he was thinking or remembering anything.
"They must ne'er ha'reason to speak ill of the dead,that's for certain,"said he."The Wilkinses have been respected in Hamley all my lifetime,and all my father's before me,and--surely,missy,there's ways and means of tying tenants up from alterations both in the house and out of it,and I'd beg the trustees,or whatever they's called,to be very particular,if I was you,and not have a thing touched either in the house,or the gardens,or the meadows,or the stables.I think,wi'a word from you,they'd maybe keep me on i'the stables,and I could look after things a bit;and the Day o'
Judgment will come at last,when all our secrets will be made known wi'out our having the trouble and the shame o'telling 'em.I'm getting rayther tired o'this world,Miss Ellinor.""Don't talk so,"said Ellinor,tenderly."I know how sad it is,but,oh!remember how I shall want a friend when you're gone,to advise me as you have done to-day.You're not feeling ill,Dixon,are you?"she continued,anxiously.
"No!I'm hearty enough,and likely for t'live.Father was eighty-one,and mother above the seventies,when they died.It's only my heart as is got to feel so heavy;and as for that matter,so is yours,I'll be bound.And it's a comfort to us both if we can serve him as is dead by any care of ours,for he were such a bright handsome lad,with such a cheery face,as never should ha'known shame."They rode on without much more speaking.Ellinor was silently planning for Dixon,and he,not caring to look forward to the future,was bringing up before his fancy the time,thirty years ago,when he had first entered the elder Mr.Wilkins's service as stable-lad,and pretty Molly,the scullery-maid,was his daily delight.Pretty Molly lay buried in Hamley churchyard,and few living,except Dixon,could have gone straight to her grave.