第4章 写给未来的自己
Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes in to us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands, and hopes we've learned something from yesterday.
—John Wayne
明天是生命里最重要的东西。午夜时它纯洁无暇地来临，然后完美地把自己交到我们手中，并希望我们已经从昨天学有所成。
——约翰·韦恩
Bend, but Don't Break 弯曲，但不折断
Ralph Manuel
One of my fondest memories as a child is going by the river and sitting idly on the bank. There I would enjoy the peace and quiet, watch the water rush downstream, and listen to the chirps of birds and the rustling of leaves in the trees. I would also watch the bamboo trees bend under pressure from the wind and watch them return gracefully to their upright or original position after the wind had died down.
When I think about the bamboo tree's ability to bounce back or return to it's original position, the word resilience① comes to mind. When used in reference to a person this word means the ability to readily recover from shock, depression or any other situation that stretches the limits of a person's emotions.
Have you ever felt like you are about to snap? Have you ever felt like you are at your breaking point? Thankfully, you have survived the experience to live to talk about it.
During the experience you probably felt a mix of emotions that threatened your health. You felt emotionally drained, mentally exhausted and you most likely endured unpleasant physical symptoms.
Life is a mixture of good times and bad times, happy moments and unhappy moments. The next time you are experiencing one of those bad times or unhappy moments that take you close to your breaking point, bend but don't break. Try your best not to let the situation get the best of you.
A measure of hope will take you through the unpleasant ordeal②. With hope for a better tomorrow or a better situation, things may not be as bad as they seem to be. The unpleasant ordeal may be easier to deal with if the end result is worth having.
If the going gets tough and you are at your breaking point, show resilience. Like the bamboo tree, bend, but don't break!
孩提时代最美好的记忆，莫过于独自来到河边，悠闲地坐在河岸上。在那里，我可以深深陶醉在平静和安宁中，看河水奔涌着向下游流去，听小鸟唧唧喳喳地歌唱，听树叶随风摇曳的沙沙声。我也会看着那竹子在风力作用下变得弯曲，而当风力逐渐减小时，又看它们优雅地回到原来直立的位置上。
当想起竹子可以反弹回到原来的位置上时，“韧性”这个词出现在我的脑海里。引用这个词来形容某个人，它的意思就是指此人从震惊、沮丧或任何其他产生强烈情绪的情况中迅速复苏的能力。
你是否曾经觉得自己就要垮掉？你是否曾感觉自己已濒临崩溃的边缘？值得庆幸的是，你从这些经历中幸存下来，现在还活着并且还能谈论它们。
在这些经历中，你也许感觉到混杂的情感对你的健康产生了威胁。你感觉情绪低落，精神疲惫，而且你还很可能忍受着极不舒服的身体症状。
生活中有顺境也有逆境，有快乐时光，也有悲伤时刻。下次，当你处于逆境或悲伤时刻并临近崩溃极限时，记得像竹子一样，弯下身去但不倒下。你要竭尽所能，不被困难打倒。
适当的希望将会让你经受住严酷的考验。希望明天会更好或希望状况会好转，可以使事情不像看起来那么糟糕。如果最终的结果是值得付出的，那么不愉快的苦难也许会更容易应付一些。
假如生活异常艰难，直把你逼向崩溃的边缘，请你展现出韧性，就像竹子一样，可以弯曲，但不会折断！
【美丽语录】
The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.
—Leo Tolstoy
时间与耐心是最强大的两个战士。
——列夫·托尔斯泰
注释
①resilience [ri'ziliəns] n. 适应力；弹性
②ordeal [ɔ:'di:əl] n. 严酷的考验；痛苦的经验
Stutter 口吃
Madison G., Alhambra, CA
My name is M-m-m-adison. That has always been a particularly difficult word for my lips to form, especially on unexpected occasions. In my mind I know exactly what I want to say and when and how I want to say it, but every now and then my words stumble① out in repetitive prolonged syllables accompanied by grimacing and pursed lips in a futile attempt to "push" the words out.
I have coped with stuttering my entire life, a problem that often goes unnoticed by those around me since I possess this speech impediment② to a very limited degree and experience it only in certain situations. However, it has wielded the same impact on my life as if I had it to its full extent. There have been times when I have wanted to rip my vocal cords from my throat in frustration, not understanding why I cannot speak with ease like those around me.
For many years I have worn a mask, one giving the appearance of fluency and normalcy. I've made a relatively successful attempt to hide my stutter, assuming the world had no desire to hear flawed or imperfect speech. I've kept it hidden by avoiding situations where I run the risk of stuttering. I have always striven for perfection in all other areas of my life, futilely attempting to compensate for my problem.
I exhausted myself. The obsessive drive that fueled my determination to shut out and ignore a festering disability started to corrode me from the inside out. The lies and deception usually strangled and suffocated me more than my stuttering ever did during a block or period of disfluency. Denial was the crutch upon which I rested, an unstable one that finally gave way this past year. I reached a breaking point, unable to withstand the pressure of pretending to be somebody I was not. After years of refusing to seek help, I was forced to acknowledge that there was, in fact, a problem.
My speech therapist extended her hand to me, hoisting me up. She is a woman who stutters severely herself but is unashamed and unapologetic when speaking at her achingly slow pace. She stumbles over certain words and at times experiences difficulties, yet perseveres through each sentence.
Entering her office that first time, we watched a videotape of her giving a speech in a college class, neck craned and grimacing, stuttering uncontrollably for ten minutes straight. It reminded me of me. I had never identified with anyone like I did with her in that moment. I discovered that I really wasn't alone after all.
Her office is a sanctuary, a place where I will not be judged for my imperfect speech. It's a safe heaven where I won't receive curious or impolite stares from those who don't understand what it's like to struggle with the simplest daily task—a place where I can stutter to my heart's content.
I've finally found my way. I accept that I have this disability and consider myself blessed to be a stutterer. I feel privileged to be among those who are disabled because we are able to appreciate certain abilities normally taken for granted. We know what it's like at times to find ourselves without them.
我叫曼——曼——曼——迪逊。对我来说，这一直是很难发音的三个字，尤其是在突发情况下。我的大脑清楚地知道我想说什么、什么时候说以及怎么说这几个字，但是在发这些字的音时，我常常会反复地延长这个字，并且伴随着狰狞的表情和撅起的嘴唇，我努力地想“挤出”这几个字来，但却做不到。
我一生都在对付我的口吃问题，因为我的言语障碍问题程度很轻，而且只会在某些情景下才会出现，所以我的口吃问题经常被我身边的人忽略。然而，这对我生活造成的影响就如同我是个严重的言语障碍者一样大。在失望沮丧的时候，我有好几次都想撕裂喉咙里的声带，我不明白，为什么我不能像身边的人一样自然地说话。
多年来，我一直带着面具生活，给别人一种我说话很流利正常的表面感觉。我也相当成功地努力隐瞒了我的口吃问题，因为我觉得世人不愿意听到有缺陷或不完美的说话。我一直避免会让我陷入口吃问题的情况来隐瞒这个事实。而且我总是努力地让自己生活的其他方面都能尽其完美，以此来试着弥补我的这个问题，但一切都是徒然。
我感到筋疲力尽。这强迫性的内驱力使我耗尽了决心，让我忽视了自己严重的缺陷，并开始由内而外地折磨我。比起不流利的口吃问题，谎言和欺骗更是经常让我痛苦地窒息。否认是我依靠的拐杖，但它却不稳固，最终在过去的一年里夭折了。我到达了一个转折点，我不再忍受着假装某个不是我自己的个人压力。在我多年拒绝寻求帮助之后，我不得不承认，我确实有个问题。
我的言语治疗师向我伸出了友善之手，她给了我很大的鼓舞。她是个本身口吃就很严重的女性，但对于自己那令人痛苦的缓慢的语速，她丝毫不感到羞愧和抱歉。她会在某些字词上结巴，有时也会很吃力，但是她始终坚持一句句地说完。
第一次到她的办公室时，我们观看了她在一个大学教室里演讲的录像带。她伸着脖子、露出狰狞的表情，无法控制地口吃，做了整整十分钟的演讲。这让我想起了我自己，我从没有像那一刻一样，与别人产生如此这般的共鸣。我发现，口吃确实不只是我一个人才有的问题。
她的办公室像是一块圣地，在那里，我不会因为我有瑕疵的言语而被别人品头论足。那是一个避风港，在那里，不会有人向我投来好奇或不礼貌的目光。这些人不懂得每天与最简单的日常口语挣扎是什么感觉。在那里，我可以尽情结结巴巴地说话。
我终于找到了自己。我接受了我的缺陷，并认为自己是因为受祝福而成为个结巴。我庆幸自己成为有缺陷的一员，因为这样，我们通常就会对拥有一些别人都想当然的能力而感激。因为我们知道，在寻找真实自己的路上，如果没有它们将会是什么模样。
【美丽语录】
The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame.—Bob Moawad
人生最美好的事莫过于决定过自己的人生，没有歉疚或借口，也不倚靠、依赖或责怪他人。—— 鲍勃·莫瓦德
注释
① stumble [ˈstʌmbəl] v. 踌躇，蹒跚；失足；犯错
② impediment [ɪmˈpedɪmənt] n. 口吃；妨碍；阻止
Don't Let Anger Get the Best of You 管理你的愤怒情绪
Winifred Yu Walking
You're late for a job interview when traffic slows to a crawl. At the supermarket, a customer wheeling a full cart cuts ahead of you in the express check-out line. You spend months on a make-it or break-it project, and your lazy colleague lands the promotion.
Feel that burn? Before you implode with rage or erupt into a tantrum①, take a deep breath and remember this: Anger hurts. Study after study has found that high levels of anger and hostility are associated with greater risk for heart disease, poor immune responses, and even a propensity② for obesity. Men with high anger scores were three times more likely to develop heart disease than their calmer cohorts, a Harvard School of Public Health study found. And in women, arguments with spouses raise hormone levels and lower immunity—a real problem, since lower immune response may boost women's risk of cancer.
Anger unleashes a torrent of hormones that wreak havoc③ on our circulatory and immune systems. When we are angry, our fight-or-flight response prompts our adrenal glands to send out an extra jolt of adrenaline and cortisol. The two hormones then cause the heart rate to speed up, blood pressure to soar, and the immune system to slow down—all helpful responses if you're going to fight or flee, but not if you're going to stand and seethe.
The extra hormones also cause blood platelets to clump and fat cells to empty into the bloodstream. Then, when the extra energy isn't used, the liver converts the fat into cholesterol. Extra cholesterol creates plaque in the arterial walls, which, over time, raises the risk for heart disease. To make matters worse, hostile people are more likely to overeat, smoke, and drink too much alcohol, studies have found.
It doesn't seem to matter whether you release the anger or hold it in, experts say. The effects on your health are the same. "Anger is anger," says Redford Williams, M.D., director of the Behavioral Medicine Research Center at Duke University Medical Center and co-author of the book Life Skills. "Both are harmful to health."
The good news is, it is possible to control your anger. "By evaluating it and using various techniques, you can talk yourself out of it," Williams says. "That's what's nice about us humans: We can always do something or not do something to change our behavior."
Take stock
Many people who are angry don't recognize themselves as angry, according to Knoxville psychologist Richard Driscoll. He suggests that you ask yourself these questions to measure your anger quotient④: Do you feel as if you are frequently mistreated by others? Do you often consider minor inconveniences to be personal attacks against you? Do you complain often? Do you exaggerate the actions of others or take their affronts⑤ personally? On the road, do you frequently curse other drivers, to the point that driving has become unpleasant?
Keep a record
Many people are unaware of what ticks them off, says Jerry Deffenbacher, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Colorado in Fort Collins. "For lots of us, our anger sort of happens," he says. "We don't know what it comes from. We're just on automatic pilot."
To get a better sense of what makes you mad, keep a journal of situations that rile⑥ you. Reflect on why they set you off and make you feel wronged. Ask yourself honestly whether your anger is justified. By writing down feelings and situations, you'll become more aware of the events that get your ire and maybe even avoid them.
Change or accept
When you feel anger welling up, take a change-it or accept-it approach. If, for example, your neighbor's garbage is fluttering into your yard yet again, it's time to put your problem-solving skills into motion. Calmly discuss the situation, and look for ways to change it.
If you can't do anything about the situation—the rude driver who just cut you off has left the scene—work to put your anger on hold right then and there. Accept that you can't do anything about it, take some deep breaths, and move on to something else.
Don't take it personally
How many times have you said to yourself, "That shouldn't have happened to me" or "I don't deserve that"? Such thinking can easily set off angry feelings. But smart people realize that, sometimes, the water-on-the-back-of-a-duck approach is the best way to deal with many of life's unfairnesses.
"Many of us have a God-like or little-kid-like mentality that we shouldn't be imposed upon, frustrated, or have things happen to us," Deffenbacher says. "That's a demanding kind of thinking. Fact is, you're going to have your base rate of crummy things happen to you." The better able you are to accept that, the less angry you'll be.
Stop dwelling on the past
If you still remember a minor infraction long after it happened, it's time to let go. Life has moved on, and so should you. Practice understanding people who have dealt you minor wrongs. Think of the problem as having been caused by the situation, not the person. If it's a more serious matter, such as childhood abuse or an unfaithful spouse, consider seeing a therapist to help you work through and release the pain, says Susan Heitler, Ph.D., a psychologist in Denver.
Adjust your routine
If you've been keeping track of your anger, you know what sets you off. Use that information to avoid upsetting situations. For instance, if you know that the grocery store is crowded on weekends, shop after work. By avoiding frustrating situations, you dodge anger.
Ultimately, the ways you react to upsetting situations and express your anger come from a combination of several factors, including genetics⑦, upbringing, and culture. Your response also varies by day, depending on your mood and even how tired you are.
Fortunately, angry people can learn to become happy people. "We just have this personality type that sometimes gets us into trouble," Williams says. "You'll always have that tendency to get angry. But you can probably control it enough to keep it from damaging your health."
交通通行速度缓慢，而你赶着去参加一个面试，你已经迟到了。超市里，一名顾客推着一整车东西，在快速结账通道插队到你前面。你在一个事关公司命运的项目上花了几个月时间辛勤工作，而懒惰的同事却升了职。
感觉怒火中烧吗？在你火冒三丈而大发雷霆之前，请做一次深呼吸并牢记：愤怒会带来伤害。多项研究发现，极度愤怒和敌意情绪可能会使患心脏病的几率更大，让免疫系统更脆弱，甚至导致肥胖的可能。哈佛大学公共卫生学院的研究发现，经常极度愤怒的男性患心脏病的几率比心绪平静的研究对象要高三倍。对女性而言，与配偶争吵会提高激素水平，降低免疫力——这是一个真正严重的问题，因为较低水平的免疫反应可能会增加女性患癌症的风险。
愤怒释放了大量荷尔蒙，这会严重影响我们的循环系统和免疫系统。当我们生气时，我们的“战斗或逃跑”反应提示肾上腺迅速分泌出额外的肾上腺素和皮质醇。这两种激素会导致心率加快、血压飙升，免疫系统工作得更缓慢——如果你要去“战斗或逃跑”，所有这些反应都是有益的；但如果你要去与人对峙或变得十分激动，那这些反应却是有害的。
额外分泌的荷尔蒙也会引起血小板凝结，脂肪细胞会趁机流入血液中。进而，当额外的能量没有被消耗掉时，肝脏会将脂肪转化为胆固醇。额外的胆固醇会在血管壁上产生斑块。随着时间的推移，就会增加罹患心脏病的风险。更糟糕的是，研究发现，内心充满敌意的人有可能吃得过多，或更可能吸烟、酗酒。
专家认为，将愤怒释放出来或将其掩藏在心里似乎并没有太大区别，两者对健康的影响是相同的。“愤怒就是愤怒，” 杜克大学医学中心行为医学研究中心主任、《生活技能》合著者雷德福·威廉姆斯博士说道，“两者都有害健康。”
好消息是，控制愤怒是可能的。“通过评估它，使用各种技术，你可以说服自己摆脱愤怒情绪，”威廉姆斯说。“这就是我们人类厉害的地方：我们总是可以做点什么或不做什么来改变我们的行为。”
作出评估
诺克斯维尔的心理学家理查德·德里斯科尔说，许多愤怒发火的人都没有意识到自己在生气。他建议问自己以下问题来判断是否发怒：你是否觉得经常被别人虐待呢？你经常把轻微不便视作对你的个人攻击吗？你经常抱怨吗？你会夸大他人的行为或把他人的侮辱视为故意针对你的攻击吗？在路上时你经常诅咒其他司机，而使开车变得很不愉快吗？
做好记录
科罗拉多大学柯林斯堡分校的心理学教授杰里·德芬巴赫博士说，很多人都不知道是什么东西惹他们发怒。“对于我们很多人，愤怒似乎是自然而然发生的，”他说，“我们不知道愤怒的来源，它总是自动发挥作用。”
为了更好地了解是什么惹你生气，把激怒你的场景记录在日记里。反思为什么这些场景会激怒你，让你觉得委屈。诚实地问问自己，你的愤怒是否有道理。通过写下自己的感情和经历情况，你更容易意识到让你愤怒的事件，甚至可以更有效地避免它们。
改变或者接受
当你感到越来越愤怒时，采取一种“改变或接受”的态度。比如，假设你邻居的垃圾又飞进你家院子，这时你应该采取解决问题的态度，平静地与对方讨论问题，寻找方法来改变它。
有些情况下，你无计可施——比如，粗鲁无礼的司机插队到你前面，如果他已经离开——那你应该试图把愤怒控制在当时的现场。学会接受你什么也做不了这个事实，做几次深呼吸，把注意力转移到别的东西上面。
不要对号入座
你会经常对自己说“这不应该发生在我身上”或“我不应该有这样的境遇”吗？这种想法很容易引发愤怒情绪。但是，聪明的人会认识到，有时候“常在河边走，哪有不湿鞋”的自我解释，是处理众多人生不公最好的态度和方法。
“许多人都有一种神般或孩子般的心态，觉得我们不应该被强迫，不应该遭受挫折或沮丧情绪，或不应该有不好的事情发生到我们头上，”德芬巴赫博士说。“这是一个要求极高的想法。事实是，对坏事情发生在你身上的基本概率，你心里必须要有相应的预期。”你越能接受这一事实，就会越少生气。
不要总是沉湎于过去
如果你还记得已经过去很久的一次小挫折，那么是时候释怀了。生活在继续，你应该继续前行。试着理解那些待你不公的人。把问题看成是当时的情况造成的，而不是某个人造成的。丹佛的心理学家苏珊·海特勒博士说，如果那是一个比较严重的问题，比如虐待儿童或伴侣不忠，可以考虑让心理治疗师帮你度过难关、释放痛苦。
调整你的生活习惯
如果你一直在追踪你的愤怒来源，你就知道什么会让你发怒。使用这些信息来避免容易让你发怒的情况。例如，假如你知道通常杂货店在周末会非常拥挤，那么你可以在下班后去购物。通过避免令人沮丧的情境，你可以避开愤怒情绪。
总之，你对让人不快的情境的反应方式，以及你表达不满的方式，都来自于以下几个因素的组合，包括遗传学、养育过程和文化因素。你每一天的反应可能也不尽相同，这取决于你的情绪，甚至是当天你的疲惫程度。
幸运的是，愤怒的人们可以学会成为快乐的人。“这种易怒的人格类型有时会给我们带来麻烦，”威廉姆斯说，“你总是会有生气的倾向。但是你可以控制它，让它不至于伤害你的健康。”
【美丽语录】
Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.—Phillips Brooks
性格往往在重大时刻显现出来，但它却是平日点滴培养起来的。——菲利普·布鲁克斯
注释
①tantrum ['tæntrəm] n. 发脾气，发怒
②propensity [prə'pensiti] n. 倾向；习性
③havoc ['hævək] n. 大破坏；混乱
④quotient ['kwəuʃənt] n. 份额
⑤affronts [ə'frʌnt] n. 侮辱
⑥rile [rail] v. 激怒
⑦genetics [dʒi'netiks] n. 遗传学
Standing Tall on a Surfboard in Midlife 中年冲浪第一课
Mike Gordon
A wave rose behind me, but it was barely a swell. If I had been standing instead of lying on a surfboard, it might have been tall enough to splash① my calves.
Still, I stroked the water like a man about to be swallowed by a shark. If the board was moving, I couldn't tell. I started to think this was an awful idea, that maybe this was not meant to be.
Maybe I had waited too long to learn how to surf.
Middle-aged egos can be painful to watch. A man can turn forty, spot a few gray hairs and do all kinds of things to prove he's still younger. Some men have affairs with leggy redheads, others start jogging. I decided to make good on a promise I made to myself when I was twelve.
I was going to learn to surf.
I often told myself it wasn't right to have grown up in Hawaii and not have learned how to surf. All my life, this concept got steady reinforcement. Everywhere, I saw people with surfboards—young people, old people, men, women. Once, I saw a five-year-old "carving wave". Another time, I saw a dog "hang ten". How hard could it be to learn this?
And yet, I didn't do anything about it. Instead, I made excuses about not having enough time and not knowing anyone who would teach me.
Then I saw a yellow flyer for a surf school in Waikiki, and the child in me spoke up, telling me it was time.
That was how I found myself floating off Diamond Head at a surf break called Tonggs. My arms were stroking the water as if my life had no other purpose. The wave scooped me up as my instructor grabbed the back of my surfboard and gave me a quick shove② forward.
I was moving, but I wasn't surfing. Before I could persuade myself to react, the ride was over. I'd blown it on my first attempt.
My instructor didn't know what to make of this. Then he shoved my board toward shore so quickly, I thought he was angry. "Paddle, now!" he shouted.
What happened next didn't take long: I stood up. I fell down. The wave passed me by.
Each new wave generated the same result: a wipeout with all the grace of a drunken belly flop.
Another wave rose like a dare. And then it happened. It was over in twenty seconds, but I'll remember it forever. Even if it never happens again.
I'll remember the sky was slightly overcast, and the ocean was an undulating③ slab of gray-blue, streaked with white breakers. I'll remember the taste of salt water on my lips and the ache between my shoulder blades.
But most of all, I'll remember that I stood up. I surfed.
我身后涌起一阵波浪，但却远不是什么巨浪。如果我站在冲浪板上而不是躺在那里，它可能刚刚能溅到我小腿肚的高度。
然而，我战战兢兢地划过水面，仿佛马上就要被鲨鱼吞噬似的。我甚至无法分辨冲浪板是否在滑动。我开始觉得来学冲浪简直是个糟糕透顶的主意，或许，我根本就不应该来学。
也许，在学习冲浪之前，我等待了太长时间。
审视中年人的自我是非常痛苦的。一个人刚满40岁时，虽然头上冒出了几根白发，但他可以做各种各样的事情来证明自己依然年轻。一些男人与红头发的长腿姑娘们调调情，另外一些人则开始慢跑。而我则决定兑现自己在12岁时许下的诺言。
我要去学冲浪。
我经常告诉自己，在夏威夷长大而没有学会冲浪是一件极其丢人的事情。在我的一生中，这一观念不断得到稳步强化。到处都可以看到人们扛着冲浪板——年轻人、老年人、男人、女人。有一次，我看见一个5岁的孩子在玩“雕刻波浪”。还有一次，我甚至看见一只狗在“作十趾驾驭”。我不禁反问自己，学这个能有多难？
然而，我并没有马上采取行动。相反，我编造了很多借口，比如没有足够的时间、不知道谁可以教我等等。
后来我在怀基基海滩看到了一个冲浪学校的黄色传单。我心底那个孩子开始跟我开口说话，告诉我是时候去学冲浪了。
再然后，我便漂浮在钻石头山附近一个叫做唐格斯的冲浪圣地。我的双臂使劲地划着水，好像我的人生除此以外没有其他任何的目的。海浪袭来，把我高高地涌起。我的教练从背面一把抓住我的冲浪板，把我快速往前推。
我感觉自己在移动，但没在冲浪。我还没来得及说服自己做出反应，一切就结束了。我的第一次尝试失败了。
教练很难理解我的表现。然后，他把我的冲浪板快速推向岸边，我以为他生气了。“现在划啊！”他喊道。
接下来发生的事情倒很迅速：我站了起来，然后摔倒了。浪头越过我向前奔涌而去。
每个新的浪潮都产生了相同的结果：我一次又一次被浪打翻，优雅地露出圆鼓鼓的啤酒肚。
另一波浪头汹涌而来，仿佛要向我发起挑战。然后，难忘的事情发生了，尽管只有短短20秒就结束了，但我会永远记住这件事，即使它永远不会再发生。
我记得天空有些阴沉，海平面仿佛一块上下起伏的灰蓝色石板，夹杂着白色的碎浪。我记得嘴唇上盐水的味道，还有肩胛骨之间的阵阵疼痛。
但最重要的是，我会记住，那一刻我站起来了，我冲浪了。
【美丽语录】
You may avoid suffering and sorrow if you don't risk, but you simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.—Bob Proctor
若不冒险，或许你能避开苦难或哀伤，但你会因此而无法学习、感受、改变、成长、爱别人，以及生活。——鲍勃·普罗克特
注释
①splash [splæʃ] v. 溅（湿）；报道
②shove [ʃʌv] n. 推；挤
③undulating ['ʌndjə.letiŋ] a. 波状的
The Greatest Gift We Can Give to Our Children 给孩子最珍贵的礼物
Leslie Karen Lobell
This past year—and the soon to end Year of The Golden Dragon on the Chinese calendar (considered a very lucky year for bearing children)—seemed to bring a baby boom to many places, including my island home of Providenciales. On days when I am able to enjoy the luxury of morning coffee at a favorite outdoor café, I often see mothers carrying infants as young children run around the plaza, full of energy and excitement. Though not a mother myself, (I am a proud aunt of two bright and beautiful nieces), I cannot help but smile back at the beaming faces and feel the tug these young girls and boys have on my heartstrings. I always pray that these young ones will hold onto their exuberance: the passion and curiosity with which they approach life.
Children are so full of joy, hopes, and dreams. They are spontaneous and creative. Sometimes they say or do things that make adults burst into laughter (or occasionally lead a parent to feel embarrassed), because we recognize that the child has not yet learned a particular rule of social etiquette. There is something so wonderful about how young children are directly connected to their essence, before the lessons and the inevitable pain of life experience lead them to hide that essence under layers of protection.
As a therapist, often my job is to get people back in touch with that essence. They have buried it so well, so carefully, that they cannot even find it themselves. Getting in touch with that essence, and allowing it to show again, is inextricably linked to self-love. When we love ourselves, we love our core, our essence, and we bring forth more of that vital part of ourselves into our daily lives. It probably would not be an exaggeration to say that over 95% of the problems that clients bring to therapy—be it relationship problems, depression and anxiety, substance abuse, career indecision, or general dissatisfaction with one's personal or professional life—have some link (often a primary one) to a lack of self-love. This lack of self-love generally begins in childhood. When teenagers or adults walk into my office for counseling, I often think, "If only we could catch them sooner…"
To develop self-love, children need to know that they are loved, unconditionally. Many children fear they will be "kicked out" or abandoned if they do not behave in ways that please their parents. Children need to know that their parents love them, even when the parents do not approve of the child's behavior. Children need consistency① from their parents: They need to feel that they are on a solid foundation, and that their place in the family is secure. Children need both to see the actions and hear the words to reassure them of their parents' love. A big birthday gift from a parent who never says, "I love you" can feel like a bribe to a child. Similarly, when a parent forgets to pick up the child from school or doesn't plan anything special for the child's birthday, the child may hear an "I love you" from that parent as empty words. Many parents assume that their children "just know" that they love them, when this is not always the case.
Some people believe that the most important thing to give a child is the "best education money can buy". I disagree (although an excellent education is very high on my list). I do believe we should "teach them well and let them lead the way". We should give our children the best education possible (both in and out of the classroom). We must share with them our sense of values and ethics, and encourage their curiosity to learn and explore on their own. Once we have given our children a solid foundation and the basic knowledge and tools they need, we need to let go and trust them to create their own lives, make their own mistakes, have their own successes, and follow their own destiny②. We need to let them blossom on their own. I think for many parents the greatest challenge is to learn how to give guidance and at the same time allow their children to be themselves, to have their own lives and follow their own dreams.
More important than giving a child a proper formal education is to foster the child's self-esteem. A child with a great education who lacks a sense of self-confidence and self-trust will rarely become a happy adult, whether or not he or she is "successful" in the material sense. However, a child who has grown to love himself or herself, will be motivated to learn or do whatever it takes to be successful and happy in life. As we must learn to love ourselves, so, too, must we encourage our children to love themselves, to trust their instincts and intuition, to know and express "the beauty they possess inside". If we give our children love that is unconditional, then they feel worthy of love; this is a key ingredient③ for them to develop a sense of self-love. Therefore, I believe that unconditional love is the greatest gift we can give to our children.
过去这一年——即将结束的这一年，中国农历金龙年（被认为是生育孩子的幸运年份）——似乎给许多地方带来一个婴儿潮，包括我家所在的普罗维登西亚莱斯岛。当我在最喜爱的户外咖啡馆享受奢侈的早间咖啡时，我经常看到妈妈们抱着婴儿，身边年幼的孩子在广场上兴奋欢快地奔跑。虽然我自己不是一个母亲（我有两个聪明又漂亮的侄女，并为她们感到骄傲），我也忍不住朝着孩子们喜气洋洋的面孔微笑，并总能感觉到这些年幼的男孩女孩们在拨动着我的心弦。我一直祈祷，这些孩子们能一直保留他们的活力：对生活总是充满激情和好奇。
孩子们身上总是充满欢乐、希望和梦想，而且他们天性自然，并极具创造力。有时他们说或做的一些事情，往往引来大人的哄堂大笑（或偶尔让家长感到尴尬），因为我们意识到，这个孩子还没有学会社交礼仪中的特定规则。年幼孩子的美妙之处就在于本质的自然流露。这种本质，在他们遭受了屡次教训和不可避免的痛苦经历后，便会被他们隐藏保护起来。
作为一个临床医学家，通常我的工作是使人们恢复与这一本质的连结。他们小心翼翼地把它埋藏得那么深，甚至自己也没法找到它。恢复与本质的接触，并允许它再次显现，与自爱有着千丝万缕的联系。当我们爱自己的时候，我们爱自己的核心，即我们的本质，我们会将更多的本质融入日常生活。可以毫不夸张地说，前来接受治疗的客户身上超过95%的问题——可能是关系问题、抑郁和焦虑、毒品滥用、职业决策困难，或一般的对个人或职业生活的不满——与缺乏自爱（通常是首要关联）都有一定的联系。这种缺乏自爱通常始于儿童。当青少年和成年人走进我的办公室咨询时，我常常想，“如果我们能早点发现他们的话……”
要让孩子们自爱，必须先让孩子们知道他们是无条件被爱的。许多孩子都害怕，如果他们的行为举止让父母感觉不悦，他们会被“赶出去”或被遗弃。不论父母是否赞成他们的行为，孩子们都需要知道他们的父母爱他们。孩子需要从父母身上感受到一种连续性：他们需要感觉到自己有一个坚实的基础，他们在家里的位置是安全的。孩子们需要看到行动、听到话语来不断确认父母的爱。父母送给孩子一份丰厚的生日礼物，但从未向孩子说过“我爱你”，这感觉就像是贿赂孩子。同样，当父母忘记去学校接孩子或没有计划庆祝孩子生日，却对他们说“我爱你”时，他们就会觉得很空洞。许多父母想当然地认为孩子“知道”他们爱他，但事实并不总是如此。
一些人认为，最重要的是给予孩子“用钱买到最好的教育”。我不同意这种观点（虽然优秀的教育在我的列表上位置非常靠前）。我相信我们应该“教育好他们，让他们独立地走自己的路”。我们应该给我们的孩子尽可能好的教育（无论课内还是课外）。我们必须与他们分享我们的价值观和道德规范，并鼓励他们的好奇心去独立学习和探索。一旦我们给了孩子坚实的基础以及他们需要的基本知识和工具，我们要做的就是放手，并相信他们，让他们去创造自己的生活，让他们去犯错、去成功，经受他们自己的命运。我们需要让他们自己去开花结果。我觉得对许多父母来说，最大的挑战是学会如何给予指导，同时允许孩子做真正的自己，有自己的生活，并追求自己的梦想。
比起给孩子提供适当的正规教育，更重要的是培养孩子的自尊。一个接受了优良教育却缺乏自信心的孩子，成年后很难成为一个快乐的人，无论他或她在物质上是否“成功”。然而，一个已经学会爱自己的孩子，会主动地学习或行动以获得成功与幸福。我们必须学会爱自己，同样，我们必须鼓励我们的孩子爱自己，要让他们相信自己的本能和直觉，也要让他们知道和表达“自己拥有的内在美”。如果我们给孩子的爱是无条件的，他们就会觉得自己值得被爱；这是自爱养成的关键成分。因此，我相信，无条件的爱是我们可以给孩子的最伟大的礼物。
【美丽语录】
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.—Oscar Wilde
大部分人过着他人的生活，他们的想法是别人的看法，他们的人生是个仿制品，他们的热忱出自一句名言。
——奥斯卡·王尔德
注释
①consistency [kən'sistənsi] n.连贯，一致性，强度，硬度，浓稠度
②destiny['destini] n.命运
③ingredient[in'gri:diənt] n.成分，原料，配料， 因素
A Letter to Myself 10 Years Down the Road 致十年后的自己的一封信（一）
Red
Dear Red,
You've been with hubby for 19 years now…are we happily celebrating our 15th anniversary? Do you still snuggle in the mornings before work or give each other head massages when you're stressed? Do you still make each other laugh? Does he still refuse to let you cook the main meals because he "fears death", oh, and does he still over-compliment your sandwiches in an attempt to get you to make them instead? Most importantly, are you two still in love?
If you answered no to any of these, you should work on that. Laugh more. Loosen up. Unless of course he did something supremely crappy①. Then you should…never mind…leave no proof.
So, did we change our minds on the kid front? If we didn't, do we have more dogs? If we did, I hope he or she is healthy and not a pain-in-the-butt like you were. I would hate for Mom to have been right. You know any kid you have is going to be a smart-ass, right? I wouldn't have it any other way. Is hubby a great dad? I bet he surprised himself.
How is our money looking? Did BFS take off? Is the house paid off as planned? Did hubby talk you into trading up yet? I hope not. Stick to your guns and keep his mind off it. You know how…buy him some board games or something. (Haha, you didn't think that was what I was going to say.)
Anyway, are we still on track to retire in 15 more years? If not, why? I don't want to work into our 60's, do you?
Are you still a nice person? Have you made someone random② smile today? I hope we still have a good sense of humor. I also hope we still help others. If you haven't volunteered for a while, schedule that for this weekend. You know you want to and there are a ton of places that appreciate our time.
Okay, please make sure that you make the rest of our life fun. Love hubby some more, you know he's crazy about you. Make a silly joke or use that kid voice we always fall into. If you haven't been silly lately, man up and try it out. You know we love to laugh.
Sincerely,
Red at 27…the one who hopes we had a great 10 years…
That was fun. Do any of you have any comments or questions for your future selves?
亲爱的红：
你现在与老公在一起已经19年了……你们是否正在甜蜜地庆祝结婚15周年纪念日呢？早上上班之前你们还会偎依在一起吗？压力很大时，你们还会给对方做头部按摩吗？你们还能让对方欢笑吗？他是否仍然不让你做正餐，因为他担心你做的难吃得“要死”？哦，还有，他是否仍然喜欢大肆赞美你做的三明治，以此引诱你来做呢？最重要的是，你们两个还相爱吗？
如果你对以上任何一个问题的回答是“不”，那么在那个问题上，你要努力了。多笑笑，放松自己。当然，除非他做了一些非常糟糕的事情。那么你应该……没关系……注意不要留下任何证据。
我们有没有改变关于孩子的想法呢？如果没有，我们养了更多的狗吗？如果我们有孩子了，我希望他或她是健康的，而不是像你一样令人头疼。我讨厌妈妈也许是正确的。你知道你的孩子一定会是一个聪明的讨厌鬼，对吗？对此我深信不疑。老公会是一个伟大的父亲吗？我相信他会是一个好爸爸，甚至好得让他自己都吃惊。
我们的财务状况如何呢？股票有没有飞涨？这所房子是否按计划付清按揭了？老公说服你购买大房子了吗？我希望没有。坚持你的立场，让他把注意力转移开来。你知道该怎么做……给他买一些桌游什么的。（哈哈，你觉得我不会这么说吧。）
还有，我们有望在15年后退休吗？如果不能，为什么？我不想60多岁了还在工作，你呢？
你还是一个好人吗？你今天让别人微笑了吗？我希望我们仍然富有幽默感，也希望我们还会帮助别人。如果你有一段时间没去做志愿者了，这个周末安排一下吧。你知道你想去，有很多地方需要我们的服务呢。
好了，请你保证我们以后的生活总是充满乐趣。多爱老公一些，你知道他疯狂地爱着你。时不时说一个笨拙的笑话，或模仿一下孩子的声音，这种时候我们总是哈哈大笑。如果你最近没有犯蠢，勇敢尝试一下。你知道我们爱笑。
真诚的，
27岁的红……希望我们有美好的10年……
这很有趣。你们对将来的自己做过任何评价或问过任何问题吗？
【美丽语录】
The purpose of our lives is to give birth to the best which is within us.—Marianne Williamson
我们生活的目的是发现自己身上最好的内在品质。
——玛丽安娜·威廉森
注释
①crappy ['kræpi] a. 蹩脚的；没价值的；讨厌的
②random ['rændəm] a. 任意的；随机的；随意的
Where Do You See Yourself in 10 Years 致十年后的自己的一封信（二）
Ninja
Dear Ninja,
Holy Crap. It's 2020! Are there flying cars? Do you have a robot maid? Has the world come to an end? I guess if it had, you wouldn't be able to tell me anyways.
Seriously though, you are pushing 35 right now which means A) you have gray hair on your head, or B) you are balding. Depressing stuff huh? I have a few matters of business that I need to discuss with you.
1) Girl Ninja:
Dude you have been married for 10 years now! Have you been honoring your wife? Loving her for her benefit and not yours? Have you told her you think she is beautiful today? If not, you have some serious business that needs to get taken care of, mister. In fact, why don't you stop reading this letter right now and call her to tell her how much you appreciate her. I assume you two have gone through some pretty major fights over the years, but I have faith that you both remain committed to love. Remember love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for.
2) Kids:
Barring no major medical complications, it's safe to assume you probably have at least 2 kids, hopefully all boys (only kidding…sort of). Are you sticking to your commitment to be a good dad? Does your job allow you to cut out early to catch your kids youth soccer game? If not, it's time for you to start looking for a new job. I, meaning you, refuse to work in an industry that overtakes my family life. Do not compromise① this. Ever.
3) Finances:
Do you remember that silly blog you started after you graduated college? No? You don't? It was Punch Debt In The Face. Remember how clever you thought you were when you came up with that name? While you are most likely no longer blogging, I do hope that you have been continually growing in your knowledge of personal finance. You are debt free right? I swear if you still have that stupid Sallie Mae loan there is going to be hell to pay. More important than your individual journey through personal finance, how has the walk with Girl Ninja been? Do you sit down and talk money at least once a month? Does she know how much money you all have in savings? I hope that you have tamed your intense passion for PF and found a way to communicate finances with Girl Ninja in a way that benefits the both of you.
4) Fun:
Seriously man, you better still have a sense of humor and an excitement about life. I know as you grow older your responsibilities increase, but that doesn't mean you can't have a good time. What have you done lately that has given you an adrenaline② rush? Are you involved in things that make you smile? Remember you were voted your high school's best sense of humor, I hope you still live up to that silly award every single day.
If you haven't succeeded in these four areas, you have fallen short of your life goals. This letter is a reminder, that the 24 year old you, had an expectation to live a fulfilling and rewarding life. If that is not the case at the time you are reading this, you only have yourself to blame.
Sincerely,
Your much younger and better looking self
P.S. You currently weigh 180lbs, if you are tipping the 200 mark I'm gonna come cut the excess baggage off of you.
亲爱的忍者：
见鬼，已经2020年了！有会飞的汽车吗？你有机器人女仆吗？世界末日已经来临了吗？我想，如果世界末日真的降临了，你大概也没办法来告诉我。
说正经的，你马上满35岁了，这意味着：你头上有灰白头发了，或者你开始秃顶了。很令人沮丧吧？我有一些重要的事情需要和你商量。
1. 女孩忍者
伙计，你已经结婚10年了！你尊重你的妻子吗？你重视她的利益而不是自己的吗？你今天跟她说过她很美吗？如果没有，那么，先生，你有一项很重要的事情需要处理。事实上，你为什么不停止阅读这封信而马上打电话给她，告诉她你是多么欣赏她？多年来你们两个经历了一些非常重大的斗争，但是我相信你俩始终忠贞于对彼此的爱情。要记住爱情不是一场斗争，但是值得通过斗争去争取。
2. 孩子们
如果没有严重的并发症，也许可以假设你可能至少有两个孩子，希望都是男孩（只是开玩笑……）。你是否坚持履行承诺，做了一个好父亲？你的工作允许你提前下班赶着去看孩子们的青年足球比赛吗？如果不是，你应该重新找一份工作了。我，也就是你，不允许工作过多地挤占家庭生活的时间。在这一点上不要妥协，永远不要妥协。
3. 财务方面
你还记得那个从学校毕业就开始写的愚蠢的博客吗？忘了吗？你真的忘了吗？就是那个叫“迎头痛击债务”的博客。还记得当初你想出这个名字时觉得自己很聪明吗？虽然你很可能不再写博客，但我希望你在个人理财方面不断有所长进。你没有债务，对吗？我发誓，如果你还有那愚蠢的学生贷款，那你将面临严重的后果。比你的个人财务状况更重要的是，你和女孩忍者的进展如何了？你们会每月至少有一次坐下来谈谈钱吗？她是否知道你们一共存了多少钱？我希望你已经驯服了自己对证券投资的激情，并找到了与女孩忍者就财务方面进行沟通的有益方式。
4. 生活乐趣
说正经的，伙计，你最好还是有幽默感，有对生活的激情。我知道，随着年龄的增长，你的责任也在不断增加。但这并不意味着你不能过得幸福开心。你最近做了什么让人兴奋的事情吗？以至于肾上腺激素加速分泌？你正在参与一些能让你微笑的事情吗？记得提醒自己在高中时曾被大家投票推举为最具幽默感的学生，我希望这个愚蠢的奖项仍然能每一天都名副其实。
如果你在这四方面没有取得成功，那你就没有实现自己的生活目标。这封信是一个提醒，24岁的你，渴望过上充实、有意义的生活。如果读这篇文章时你尚未过上这样的生活，你只能怪自己了。
真诚的，
更年轻、更帅气的我
附言：现在的我重180磅，如果你即将突破200磅大关，我要来帮你瘦身，减掉超重的部分。
注释
①compromise ['kɔmprəmaiz] v. 妥协处理，危害，妥协, 让步
②adrenaline [ə'drenəlin] n. 肾上腺素（使激动兴奋等）
A Letter to Myself in 10 Years
致十年后的自己的一封信（三）
Trent
Many, many people write letters to their past selves, advising their earlier selves to avoid mistakes that they've made. I thought it might be interesting to take the opposite approach and write myself a letter today to read on my fortieth birthday.
Dear Trent,
Today is your fortieth birthday. Your son is twelve years old, your daughter is ten years old, and you've been married for fifteen years. Right now, I can scarcely① believe that's possible. I don't know what frustrations and joys you will have experienced between now and then, but I just wanted to pop in with a little reminder of the things you value now, so that maybe you'll sit down and use your fortieth birthday as an opportunity to really look at your life and make sure that it's still centered around the things that you value.
I guess that's the first thing I want to say. Right now, take a few hours and set it aside to really reflect on your life. You probably don't remember the day to day realities of your life when your daughter was a newborn and your son was two, but you spent it working full time at a job and at two side businesses, plus you devoted time to your children and your wife, spent time on your hobbies, and still squeezed in a bit of time for reflection, too. The times in your life that you've been melancholic② have been the same ones where you failed to take time to reflect on things. So, take that time right now. Go for a walk in the woods and think about where you're at right now.
When you get back, do these things.
Take that wonderful wife of yours, the mother of your children, into your arms, give her a kiss, look her straight in the eyes, and tell her that you love her. Right now, she is the emotional center of your life, and even if that has changed somewhat in the intervening ten years, let me assure you that right now, as I write this, she is the reason to get up in the morning. Don't let little aggravations③ get in the way of things.
Give each of your children a hug, too. You and your wife used to spend every evening completely devoted to them, and they've likely grown into interesting people as well. You're probably wondering where the time went, and asking yourself when your son turned into a budding young man and your daughter transformed from a soft, snuggly little baby into a nuanced and thriving child. Hug them both, and don't let these last few years of their childhood slip past. Take some extra time to spend with them, and never hesitate to let them know that you love them.
Think about what you really want to do. Right now, I'm planning on spending much of my thirties making the strongest possible foundation I can for you, one of financial security for you and your wife and those kids. Why? So you can do some amazing things now. Go on a few deeply memorable vacations in the next few years. Take your family and visit every continent in the world. Do some things that will build your family's connections, but also enable your children to grow and see new things. I've spent much of my time over the last few years worrying about how I will be able to take care of those children, but they're growing up now and the worry should be less, so use those resources you've got to experience some new things.
Right now, our family's plan is to build a new house when I'm about your age. We want to build it out in the country, and we've already started planning for it financially. Ask yourself seriously, is this still the dream? Talk about it as a family, and then use those financial resources in whatever way you think is the most valuable for you.
Most of all, never, ever stop dreaming. Your dreams of writing made The Simple Dollar possible and has (hopefully) led to some great writing opportunities over the last decade. Don't stop. Listen to what your heart is telling you and do it. You should be close to complete financial freedom now—take that leap and just run with whatever it is that's in your heart.
One final thing: she still wants to go on that Bahamas trip, you know. See if you can leave the kids with her parents for a week or two and just go. It will probably be the best thing you guys have done since, well, your honeymoon.
Best wishes,
Your twenty nine year old self
No matter where my life goes between now and then, the contents of that letter will mean something when I read it again in 2018.
很多很多人写信给过去的自我，给过去的自我提供建议以避免他们已经犯下的错误。但我觉得，采取相反的方法，在今天写下一封信，在40岁生日时再来读，这可能会很有趣。
亲爱的特伦特，
今天是你40岁的生日。你的儿子12岁，你的女儿10岁，你已经结婚15年了。现在的我几乎难以相信这一切。我不知道从现在起你会经历哪些挫折，拥有哪些欢乐，但我只是想出来提醒你，哪些是你现在珍视的东西。也许你会坐下来，利用你40岁生日这个机会来真正审视一遍自己的生活，并确保生活的核心仍然是那些你认为重要的东西。
我想这是我首先想说的。现在，拿出几个小时的时间来真正反思一下你的生活。你可能已经不记得女儿刚生下来、儿子才2岁时日复一日的生活细节了，但是你在工作中全力以赴，在双方企业里来回奔波，你投入大量时间去照顾和陪伴妻子孩子，你会花些时间在兴趣爱好上，然后仍要挤出一些时间来思考。生活中郁郁寡欢的时节，与没有花时间反思的时节一样，都是莫大的浪费。所以，现在拿出时间，去林子里走一走，想想你现在的境况。
当你回到家时，记得做以下几件事。
把你的好妻子，你孩子的母亲拥入怀中，给她一个吻，直接看着她的眼睛，告诉她你爱她。现在，她是你生命的情感中心。即使过去的10年里有些变化，那么让我向你保证，现在，当我写这篇文章的时候，她是我每天早起的理由。不要让小小的愤怒伤害了你们的感情。
也给每个孩子一个拥抱。你和你的妻子过去常常整夜整夜地照顾他们，而他们现在很可能已经长成有趣的小大人了。你可能很想知道，也常常会问自己时间都到哪里去了。你儿子长成了一个崭露头角的年轻男子，你女儿不再是从前那个细声细气、小鸟依人的小宝贝，她成了一个心思细腻、茁壮成长的孩子。拥抱他们，不要让他们童年的尾巴轻易溜走。拿出一些额外的时间来陪伴他们，毫不犹豫地让他们知道你爱他们。
认真思考什么是你真正想做的事情。现在，我正在计划在30多岁这些年里给你打下尽可能牢固的基础，一个为你、妻子、孩子提供财务安全的基础。为什么？因为这样的话，你现在就可以去做一些美好的事情。在接下去的几年里，你可以去度假，为自己留下很多深刻难忘的美好回忆；带上家人去拜访世界上的每一个大陆；做一些事来加强家人之间的联系，帮助孩子们成长，体会新事物。在过去的几年里我一直很忧心，我怎样才能照顾好这些孩子。现在他们长大了，我的烦恼应该有所减轻，你可以腾出时间去体验一些新东西了。
现在，我们的家庭计划是在你那个年纪的时候建一所新房。我们想把房子建在郊区，并且已经开始计划筹钱了。认真地问问自己，这仍然是梦想吗？从一个家庭成员的角度来谈论这件事，然后把这些财务资源用在你认为最有价值的地方。
最重要的是，永远不要放弃梦想。你关于写作的梦想让《简单的美元》这本书成为可能，并有希望在过去10年给你带来一些很棒的写作机会。不要放弃。倾听你内心的声音，然后付诸实践。你现在应该接近财务自由——勇敢地去实现飞跃，然后带着内心的梦想奋力奔跑。
最后一件事：你知道，她仍然想去巴哈马群岛旅行。看看你能不能把孩子留给她父母带一两个星期，然后你们就出发。那将会是你们自蜜月以来度过的最美好的时光。
最美好的祝福，
29岁的我
无论我的人生从现在起会经历什么，当我在2018年重读此信时，这封信的内容无疑对我意义重大。
注释
①scarcely ['skɛəsli] adv.几乎不，简直不，刚刚，决不
②melancholic ['melən'kɔlik] a.忧郁的，忧郁症的
aggravation ['ægrəv'eiʃən] n.更恶化，加厉，恼怒，恼人的事
Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.
我们必须一次又一次选择成长，一次又一次克服恐惧。
紫云文心·袖珍馆
美丽英文文库已出版书目
我们很高兴能将这些至纯至美的英文佳作、至真至善的心灵经典呈现给你，带你走进一个美丽的英文殿堂，引你踏上一段成就自我的文学之旅……这一句句掩卷难忘的妙语佳言，一篇篇震撼心灵的永恒经典，让你在繁杂喧哗中体味到一股令人心醉的温暖，令你在品位华美的英文意境时，体会到静谧清澈的心灵之音。
生命的美好没有界限，每一次相遇都会使这美好变得愈发丰富。遇见美丽英文，爱上英文，用最快乐的方式学习英文……这就是我们为你精心送上的礼物。如果你的心在此刻被触动，请带着久违的心情，坐下来细细品读一番，聆听书籍的声音，推开梦想的心门，感受这永不消逝的美丽吧！
美丽英文袖珍馆 第1辑：
1.《假如人生不曾相遇》 刘育红 编译
2.《拥抱此刻的阳光》 彭 芳 编译
3.《成功是一种选择》 冯铃之 编译
4.《让爱在心里成长》 冯铃之 编译
5.《动物们教会我的事》 蒋云南 编译
6.《心灵深处的音乐》 刘育红 编译
美丽英文袖珍馆 第2辑：
7.《童年是孤单的冒险》 詹少晶 编译
8.《青春是华丽的旅行》 詹少晶 编译
9.《爱是最美丽的语言》 詹少晶 编译
10.《世界上最感人的书信》 詹翠琴 编译
11.《别处的风景》 王婉俊 编译
12.《成长是不可替代的事》 牛小蹊 编译
美丽英文袖珍馆 第3辑：
13.《那些震撼世界的声音》 满 屹 编译
14.《那些改变未来的身影》 张 露 编译
15.《无法忘却的电影对白》 冯铃之 编译
16.《童话若有张不老的脸》 胡燕娟 编译
17.《一个人，也能有好时光》 冯铃之 编译
18.《那一年，我们一起毕业》 徐玲燕 编译
美丽英文袖珍馆 第4辑：
19.《世界上最美的情书》 余 莉 编译
20.《遇见成功的自己》 陈微微 编译
21.《那些激励我前行的睿思》 张 露 编译
22.《那些触动我心扉的故事》 李 影 编译
23.《致十年后的自己》 何之遥 编译
24.《快乐是自找的》 胡潇俊 编译
假如你能不断给我们建议，指出我们的不足，或推荐曾让自己拍案的小书给我们，我们将不胜感激。
策划热线：010-81570393
联络邮箱：youngbook@tom.com
直通QQ：2439007