Learning to Serve

Blake contacted several companies and was able to schedule interviews with three organizations he hadn’t pursued previously. He felt the interviews went well. One of the three firms offered him a job on the spot. The second sent him a letter thanking him for his interest and letting him know that the job had been filled by another candidate who more closely fitted their needs. The third invited him back for another interview.

Two out of three wasn’t a bad average. His top-rated university, combined with above-average academics and social skills, made him a young man most companies would welcome to the team. He was pleased.

He asked the first company for a little more time to make a decision. The second interview turned into an invitation for a third. He wasn’t sure what to make of this. Were they indecisive or just careful? Were they unsure of his candidacy? Were they probing specific concerns? He thought this would be a good conversation to have at the coffee shop with Debbie.

“How’s the job search?” Debbie asked as she greeted him with a smile.

“Great!” Blake could hardly contain his enthusiasm.

“Tell me more.”

“I have one firm job offer, and another company has asked me back for a third interview.”

“Congratulations!” Debbie said. “I knew you could do it.”

“Now I’ve got to make a decision,” Blake said.

“What are you thinking?”

“One of the companies said they’d put me in sales.”

“Selling what?”

“Hardware of some sort. I asked several questions, and they said they’d teach me all I needed to know. And the other one—” Blake began.

“The one that has invited you back for a third interview?”

“Yes. They’ve got several positions they think I might pursue. However, I’m a little spooked by the multiple interviews.”

“Why?”

“It seems like they’re pretty indecisive. You’d think they would have done this enough to make a quicker decision.”

“Is that the goal?”

“What do you mean?” Blake asked.

“Is the goal of selection to make a quick decision?”

“I don’t know,” he said with a shrug. “I just thought time is money.”

“Yes, time is money, and a poor selection decision costs both time and money. At our company, selection is considered the most important decision a leader makes. I admire a company that works diligently to get this right.” Debbie paused to take a sip of tea. “What’s next?” she continued.

“I guess I need to go to the third interview, and if they make me an offer, I’ll make a decision.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Debbie affirmed. “What would you like to talk about in the balance of our time today?”

“In our last meeting, you brought up two ideas I’d like to go back to. First, you talked about what motivates leaders. Second, you said that the key to becoming a great leader is to GROW. Can we talk more about these ideas?”

“Let’s talk about leadership. The fact that you want to talk about how to GROW as a leader makes me think you want to do this. But I want to be sure. In our first meeting, you were feeling the pressure to lead because your father wanted you to.”

“I know,” Blake said. “But I’ve given it a lot of thought. I realize that I don’t control whether I’ll be in a formal position of leadership. But I can control my readiness to lead. I’m willing to GROW as a leader in my personal life as well as take advantage of any opportunities for corporate leadership that may come my way.”

“That’s the best possible attitude,” Debbie affirmed. “You sound like you’ve got your dad’s optimism. If you GROW your capacity to lead, opportunities to lead usually follow. There’s more to these topics than we can cover today. But we can begin the conversation.

“The motivation of a leader matters. Your dad used to ask me—and now I ask others this question—‘Are you a serving leader, or a self-serving leader?’”

“Wasn’t that what you were getting at during our last meeting when you were talking about being a servant first and a leader second?”

“Yes,” said Debbie. “The very best leaders are others-centered. These leaders are constantly trying to help others and their organization win. In reality, when they do this, they win, too. But the very best leaders are not motivated by what they’ll get in return for their actions.”

“It sounds like a kind of selflessness.”

“Yes, I guess you could describe it that way. Your dad used to say that great leaders don’t think less of themselves; they just think of themselves less.”

“That sounds hard,” Blake said.

“Yes, it can be. We all have some self-serving tendencies. In fact, every morning when you get up you have a choice: to serve, or to be served. Putting your own interests ahead of those of your people and your organization is an ever-present danger that the best leaders work to avoid.”

“I’ve never heard anyone talk about this, including my dad,” Blake said.

“Most leaders don’t, but your dad continually reminded me that the best leaders serve. He was a model of servant leadership.”

“I don’t know,” said Blake, looking thoughtful. “When I hear the phrase ‘servant leadership,’ I can’t help but think of a person who tries to please everyone, which doesn’t seem very leaderlike somehow.”

“You mean like a warden who lets the inmates run the prison?” Debbie asked with a laugh.

“Yeah,” said Blake.

“Most people have those kinds of ‘soft management’ images of servant leadership,” Debbie said. “That’s because there are really two different aspects of leadership. The first aspect is vision/direction. If your people don’t know where they’re going, there’s very little chance they’ll get there. The questions the leader needs to answer are ‘Where do you want us to go, and what are we trying to accomplish?’

“Once you’ve decided where you want to go, the second part of leadership—implementation—kicks in. Now the question is ‘How are we going to get there?’ To get where you’re going, you have to serve others so they have the skills and competencies needed for the journey.”

“That’s interesting,” said Blake. “I never thought about there being two parts of leadership.”

“While it’s important that the leader establishes the vision and direction, the key to a team or organization achieving that vision is having leaders who do all they can to serve their people by helping them reach their goals.”

“It seems like so few organizations end up with leaders like that. More often you hear about leaders who become corrupt and fail their people. Why is that?” asked Blake.

Debbie stirred her tea thoughtfully. “If I had to guess, I’d say the two primary reasons leaders get off track are ego and fear. For many leaders, their ego is fueled by a heightened sense of confidence—you might call it over-confidence or pride. This, combined with the fear of losing control, often prevents leaders from serving people. And if there’s a third and fourth reason, they would be that people aren’t teaching servant leadership, and people haven’t seen many positive role models.”

“You said you thought my dad was a servant leader,” Blake said.

“Yes, he was—the best I’ve ever known,” Debbie agreed. “And your dad taught me that leadership is fundamentally a choice. You get to choose to engage in the behaviors I just outlined—or not. And once you’ve made the choice, you then get to decide how good you’ll ultimately be as a leader.”

“I’m guessing that’s where GROW comes in,” Blake speculated.

“You’ve got it. We’ll talk about that after you get a job,” Debbie smiled. “Please give me a call and let me know about your next interview.”