Book overview

My sincere hope for this book is to help women like you redefine confidence (with an acknowledgment that fear and courage are components just as much as talent and insight are) and to persuade you to reach for your next big goal.

I believe that each one of us is called to make an important contribution. This book is a practical tool kit to help you navigate through internal resistance in the service of making your own important contribution. The many qualities we bring to the table, including creativity, connectivity, and a unique perspective, are needed around the globe. Let me support you as you think, dream, and act boldly.

My team at WomenWorking.com conducted an online survey of 535 people, mostly women, covering confidence issues both at work and in our personal lives. Insights and important results from this survey appear throughout the book, along with confidence myths that need to be busted, wisdom from high-level professional women, and Confidence Sparks (exercises, tips, and reflections) to help you move forward in spite of the uneasiness you may feel. A What Would You Do? exercise at the end of each chapter presents challenging scenarios and effective ways of dealing with them. A convenient Power Tools summary helps solidify the main takeaways from each chapter.

The results of the Women and Confidence Survey were clear and consistent, and they confirmed my initial thoughts on this important topic: a perceived lack of confidence holds most of us back, but it doesn’t have to. You will never feel 100 percent self-assured as you step out in a bigger way. Moving forward with fear is a skill you develop over time and with practice. And I can tell you from experience that now is the best time to test the waters.

Below are short summaries of what you will find in each chapter.

Chapter 1: Transform Fear by Stepping Up

Myth: I can’t tackle it now; I’m not ready.

Truth: I can do it. What I don’t know I will learn or delegate.

Chapter 1 sets the stage for looking fear in the face as you step out in a new way. Inspiring stories from the women I’ve interviewed will prepare you for identifying and committing to stretch goals.

Chapter 2: Lead with Presence

Myth: It’s not possible to learn how to be a dynamic leader.

Truth: Leadership presence can be cultivated and is available to me.

Leading with presence involves presenting yourself authentically, exhibiting poise during stressful times, reading the room, artfully listening, dressing the part, and, especially for women, using power language to assert yourself. Chapter 2 presents skill-building tips in these areas and more.

Chapter 3: Win with Honest Feedback

Myth: When I feel criticized, I react defensively and I can’t be objective.

Truth: I have the ability to discriminate, take what fits, and leave the rest.

In order to advance, you must understand how others see you. In our quest for excellence, our perfectionism can get in the way of our ability to accept feedback and grow from it. Chapter 3 provides examples and strategies for processing feedback constructively and determining what’s valuable. Useful ways of giving feedback are also offered.

Chapter 4: Create Power Parameters

Myth: If I don’t do it, no one else will.

Truth: If I say no, others will pick up the slack, and that will be just fine.

As women, demands on our time come from so many fronts that we can lose sight of our own needs. Our well-being and future success depend on our ability to set limits with people and prioritize what we need from day to day. In chapter 4, you will be given strategies for determining your “power parameters” and having the often difficult conversations necessary to create them.

Chapter 5: Stand Out and Attract Sponsors

Myth: The competition for sponsors is fierce—standing out and getting one is too difficult.

Truth: I can attract and build important power alliances.

Awareness has increased in the last several years about the importance of attracting sponsors, people who advocate for you when positions open up. Men have cultivated these powerful relationships for decades, and women can learn a lot from them. You can create these crucial alliances, and chapter 5 will give you the tools to do so.

Chapter 6: Trust Your Inner Compass

Myth: When I am under pressure, I can’t tap into my intuitive insight.

Truth: I always have access to my intuition and the ability to use it.

Tough choices are made every day in business, and often we have no precedent to guide our decision making, especially as women travel into uncharted workplace territory. Developing an inner compass can help you navigate the bumps along the way and bust the myths discussed in the previous chapters. Chapter 6 provides tools to help you connect with your inner wisdom and make intuition your professional edge.

Appendix A: Thirty Days of Confidence Sparks

Appendix A includes thirty additional Confidence Sparks. Each will boost your ability to take action and move forward in a positive way toward your next achievement. I encourage you to make reading and reflecting on them a daily practice.

Appendix B: The Women and Confidence Survey

Appendix B includes a discussion and presentation of The Women and Confidence Survey and the methodology used. It also presents the survey questions and results.