心灵的语言 A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression
At a dinner party in New York, one of the guests, a woman who had inherited money, was eager to make a pleasing impression on everyone. She had squandered a modest fortune on sables, diamonds and pearls. But she hadn't done anything whatever about her face. It radiated sourness and selfishness. She didn't realize what everyone knows: namely, that the expression one wears on one's face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one's back.
Charles Schwab told me his smile had been worth a million dollars. And he was probably understating the truth. For Schwab's personality, his charms, his ability to make people like him, were almost wholly responsible for his extraordinary success; and one of the most delightful factors in his personality was his captivating smile.
Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says , “I like you, you make me happy. I am glad to see you.”That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them.
A baby's smile has the same effect. Have you ever been in a doctor's waiting room and looked around at all the glum faces waiting impatiently to be seen? Dr.Stephen K. Sproul, a veterinarian in Raytown, Missouri, told of a typical spring day when his waiting room was full of clients waiting to have their pets inoculated. No one was talking to anyone else, and all were probably thinking of a dozen other things they would rather be doing than“wasting time”sitting in that office. He told one of our classes:
“There were six or seven clients waiting when a young woman came in with a nine-month-old baby and a kitten. As luck would have it, she sat down next to a gentleman who was more than a little distraught about the long wait for service. The next thing he knew, the baby just looked up at him with that great big smile that is so characteristic of babies. What did that gentleman do?
“Just what you and I would do, of course; he smiled back at the baby. Soon he struck up a conversation with the woman about her baby and his grandchildren, and soon the entire reception room joined in, and the boredom and tension were converted into a pleasant and enjoyable experience.”
An insincere grin? That doesn't fool anybody. We know it is mechanical and we resent it. I am talking about a real smile, a heartwarming smile, a smile that comes from within, the kind of smile that will bring a good price in the marketplace.
Professor James V. McConnell, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, expressed his feelings about a smile. “People who
smile,”he said , “tend to manage, teach and sell more effectively, and to raise happier children. There's far more information in a smile than a frown. That's why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment.”
The employment manager of a large New York department store told me she would rather hire a sales clerk who hadn't finished grade school, if he or she has a pleasant smile, than to hire a doctor of philosophy with a somber face.
The effect of a smile is powerful—even when it is unseen. Telephone companies throughout the United States have a program called “phone power”which is offered to employees who use the telephone for selling their services or products. In this program they suggest that you smile when talking on the phone. Your “smile”comes through in your voice.
The chairman of the board of directors of one of the largest rubber companies “In the United States told me that, according to his observations, people rarely succeed at anything unless they have fun doing it. This industrial leader doesn't put much faith in the old adage that hard work alone is the magic key that will unlock the door to our desires , “I have known people,”he said, “The one who succeeded because they had a rip-roaring good time conducting their business. Later, I saw those people change as the fun became work. The business had grown dull, they lost all joy in it, and they failed.”
You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.
在纽约举行的一个宴会上，有一位得到大笔遗产的女宾客迫切想要给每一个人留下一个好印象。她不惜重金买来貂皮、钻石和珍珠，但是在自己的脸上却没有下任何工夫—— 一脸的尖酸刻薄、自私自利。她没有意识到一个众所周知的道理：一个人的面部表情要比身上的衣服重要得多。
史考伯对我说，他的笑容值一百万美元，他也许是在有意淡化这一事实。史考伯的个性和魅力以及让人喜欢他的能力几乎是他取得非凡成就的全部原因所在。并且他个性中最令人愉快的因素之一就是他那迷人的微笑。
行动比语言更有力。一个微笑表达的是：“我喜欢你，你让我感到很开心，我非常高兴见到你。”这就是小狗得宠的原因。小狗见到我们会表现出欣喜若狂的高兴劲儿，所以，我们见到小狗自然也感觉很开心。
婴儿的微笑也有同样的效果。你曾经在医生的候诊室里留意过那些等待看病的阴郁面孔吗？密苏里州雷顿市的兽医史蒂芬·史波尔告诉过我一件事：在某年的一个春天，他的候诊室里排满了前来给宠物接种疫苗的人，没有人闲聊，他们大概都在想着其他事情，而不是待在候诊室里“浪费时间”。他对我说：“有六七个人在等着给他们的宠物接种疫苗时，一个年轻女人带着一个九个月大的婴儿和一只小猫走进来。事有巧合，她坐在已经等得有些发狂了的男人旁边。当他扭过头时，婴儿正用那天真无邪的笑容注视着他。那个男人会做什么呢？”
“当然，他和你我的反应一样，扭过头去朝着婴儿微笑。很快他就和那个女人攀谈起来，聊起了她的孩子和他自己的孙子。不多一会儿，整个候诊室的人都参与了进来，厌倦和紧张变成了快乐和享受。”
那虚假的笑容呢？那是不可能欺骗任何人的。我们都知道那种笑是机械的，我们厌恶它。我所要谈的是真诚的、暖人心房的、发自内心的微笑，它是人际关系中的无价之宝。
密歇根大学的心理学家詹姆斯·麦克奈尔教授表达了他对微笑的看法：“面带微笑的人们会在管理、教学和营销方面卓有成效，也会培养出心情愉悦的孩子。微笑比蹙眉能更好地传达信息。这就是为什么在教育上奖励要比惩罚更有效的原因。”
一位纽约超市的人事经理对我说，她宁愿聘用一个没有学历但有着舒适微笑的人，也不愿聘用一个满面冰霜的哲学博士。
微笑的力量是巨大的——即使它是无形的。遍布全美的电话公司有一个叫“电话力量”的项目，就是要求员工用电话来销售他们的服务和产品。在此项目中，公司建议员工在打电话时要面带微笑。你的“微笑”会通过你的声音传递给客户。
美国一家大型橡胶公司的董事长告诉我，他通过观察发现，除非对自己所做的事有兴趣，否则人们很难获得成功。这位商业巨头对于“努力是通向成功之门的唯一钥匙”这句古语并不赞同。他说：“我所认识的一些人，他们的成功是因为做了自己感兴趣的工作。后来，他们对工作渐渐没了兴趣，于是生意萧条了，最终失败了。”
如果你希望他人在见到你时心情是愉悦的，那你也必须在见到他们时心情是愉悦的。
词汇笔记
squander [ˈskwɔndə] v. 浪费；漂泊；驱散
例 He squandered a lot of time on computer games.
他在电脑游戏上浪费了很多时间。
extraordinary [ikˈstrɔ:dənəri] adj. 特别的；非凡的；离奇的
例 She needed extraordinary courage to hold this poise.
她需要非凡的勇气来保持这种平衡。
inoculate [iˈnɔkjuleit] v. 接种；嫁接；灌输
例 A corps of doctors arrived to inoculate the recruits.
一队医生来给新兵打防疫针。
conversation [ˌkɔnvəˈseiʃən] n. 会话；交谈；社交
例 Draw up a chair, and join the conversation.
拉把椅子过来，加入我们的谈话。
小试身手
一个人的面部表情要比他身上的衣服重要得多。
译_______________
我所认识的一些人，他们的成功是因为做了自己感兴趣的工作。
译_______________
如果你希望他人在见到你时心情是愉悦的，那你也必须在见到他们时心情是愉悦的。
译_______________
短语家族
Soon he struck up a conversation with the woman about her baby and his grandchildren……
strike up：开始演奏；使开始；建立起
造_______________
In this program they suggest that you smile when talking on the phone．
talk on the phone：在电话中交谈；打电话；讲电话
造_______________