第6章 Sharing the Talk with the Audience 与听众融为一体

RUSSELL CONWELL's FAMOUS lecture, “Acres of Diamonds,” was given nearly six thousand times. You would think that a talk repeated so often would become set in the speaker's mind, that no word or intonation would vary in delivery. That was not the case. Dr. Conwell knew that audiences differ. He recognized that he had to make each successive audience feel that his talk was a personal, living thing created for it, and it alone. How did he succeed in keeping this interrelationship between speaker, speech, and audience alive from one speaking engagement to the next? “I visit a town or city,” he wrote, “and try to arrive there early enough to see the postmaster, the barber, the hotel manager, the principal of the schools, some of the ministers, and then go into the stores and talk with people, and see what has been their history and what opportunities they had. Then I give my lecture and talk to those people about the subjects that apply to them locally.”

Dr. Conwell was thoroughly aware that successful communication depends upon how well the speaker can make his talk a part of the listeners and the listeners a part of the talk. That is why we have no true copy of “Acres of Diamonds,” one of the most popular talks ever given from a lecture platform. With his clever insight into human nature and his painstaking industry, Dr. Conwell did not give the same lecture twice, although he addressed almost six thousand different audiences on the same subject. You can profit from his example by making certain that your talks are always prepared with a specific audience in mind. Here are some simple rules that will help you to build up a strong feeling of rapport with your listeners.

FIRST/ TALK IN TERMS OF YOUR LISTENERS' INTERESTS

That is exactly what Dr. Conwell did. He made a point of working into his lecture plenty of local allusions and examples. His audiences were interested because his talk concerned them, their interests, their problems. This linkage with what your hearers are most interested in, namely, themselves, will insure attention and guarantee that the lines of communication will remain open. Eric Johnston, former head of the United States Chamber of Commerce and now president of the Motion Picture Association, uses this technique in almost every talk he gives. Note how resourcefully he employed local interests in a commencement address at the University of Oklahoma:

You Oklahomans are well acquainted with goosepimple peddlers. You don't have to think back too far to remember when they were writing Oklahoma off the books as a hopeless risk forever.

Why, in the 1930's, all the ravens of despair were telling the crows to bypass Oklahoma unless they could pack along their own rations.

They consigned Oklahoma to an everlasting future as part of a new American desert. Nothing would ever bloom again—they said. But in the 1940's Oklahoma was a garden spot—and the toast of Broadway. For, once again, there was “waving wheat that sure smells sweet when the wind comes right behind the rain.”

In one short decade, the dustbowl was smothered with corn stalks as high as the elephant's eye.

Here was a pay-off for faith—and calculated risk…

But it is always possible to see our own times in better perspective against the backdrop of yesterday.

So I looked up the files of the Daily Oklahoman for the spring of 1901 in preparation for my visit here. I wanted to sample the flavor of life in the territory fifty years ago.

And what did I discover?

Why, I found the big accent was all on Oklahoma's future. The big stress was on hope.

Here is an excellent example of talking in terms of audience interest. Eric Johnston used instances of calculated risk right out of his listeners' back yards. He made them feel that his talk was no mimeographed copy—it was freshly created for them. No audience can withhold attention from a speaker who talks in its interests.

Ask yourself how knowledge of your subject will help the members of your audience solve their problems and achieve their goals. Then proceed to show them that, and you will have their complete attention. If you are an accountant and you start your talk by saying something like this, “I am going to show you how to save from fifty to a hundred dollars on your tax return,” or you are a lawyer and you tell your listeners how to go about making a will, you will be certain to have an interested audience. Surely, there is some topic in your special fund of knowledge that can be of real help to members of your audience.

When asked what interests people, Lord Northcliffe, the William Randolph Hearst of British journalism, replied, “themselves.” He built a newspaper empire on that single truth.

In Mind in the Making, James Harvey Robinson describes reverie as “a spontaneous and favorite kind of thinking.” He goes on to say that, in reverie, we allow our ideas to take their own course, and this course is determined by our hopes and fears, our spontaneous desires, their fulfillment or frustration; by our likes and dislikes, our loves, hates, and resentments. There is nothing so interesting to ourselves as ourselves.

Harold Dwight, of Philadelphia, made an extraordinarily successful talk at a banquet which marked the final session of our course. He talked about each person in turn around the entire table, how he had spoken when the course started, how he had improved; he recalled the talks various members had made, the subjects they had discussed; he mimicked some of them, exaggerated their peculiarities, had everyone laughing, had everyone pleased. With such material, he could not possibly have failed. It was absolutely ideal. No other topic under the blue dome of heaven would have so interested that group. Mr. Dwight knew how to handle human nature.

Some years ago I wrote a series of articles for the American Magazine, and I had the opportunity of talking with John Siddall, who was then in charge of the Interesting People Department.

“People are selfish,” he said. “They are interested chiefly in themselves. They are not very much concerned about whether the government should own the railroads; but they do want to know how to get ahead, how to draw more salary, how to keep healthy. If I were editor of this magazine,” he went on, “I would tell them how to take care of their teeth, how to take baths, how to keep cool in summer, how to get a position, how to handle employees, how to buy homes, how to remember, how to avoid grammatical error, and so on. People are always interested in human interest stories, so I would have some rich man tell how he made a million in real estate. I would get prominent bankers and presidents of various corporations to tell the stories of how they battled their ways up from the ranks to power and wealth.”

Shortly after that, Siddall was made editor. The magazine then had a small circulation. Siddall did just what he said he would do. The response? It was over whelming. The circulation figures climbed up to two hundred thousand, three, four, half a million. Here was something the public wanted. Soon a million people a month were buying it, then a million and a half, finally two million. It did not stop there, but continued to grow for many years. Siddall appealed to the selfinterests of his readers.

The next time you face an audience, visualize them as eager to hear what you have to say—as long as it applies to them. Speakers who fail to take this essential egocentricity of their listeners into account are apt to find themselves facing a restless audience, one squirming in boredom, glancing at wristwatches, and looking hopefully toward the exit doors.

SECOND/ GIVE HONEST, SINCERE APPRECIATION

Audiences are composed of individuals, and they react like individuals. Openly criticize an audience and they resent it. Show your appreciation for something they have done that is worthy of praise, and you win a passport into their hearts. This often requires some research on your part. Such fulsome phrases as “this is the most intelligent audience I have ever addressed,” are resented as hollow flattery by most audiences.

In the words of a great speaker, Chauncey M. Depew, you have to “tell them something about themselves that they didn't think you could possibly know.” For example, a man who spoke before the Baltimore Kiwanis Club recently could find nothing unusual about that club except that it had in its membership a past international president and an international trustee. This was no news to the members of the club. So he tried to give it a new twist. He started his talk with this sentence: “The Baltimore Kiwanis Club is one club in 101,898!”The members listened. This speaker was certainly wrong—because there were only 2,897 Kiwanis Clubs in the world. The speaker then went on:

“Yes, even if you don't believe it, it is still a fact that your club, mathematically at least, is one in 101,898. Not one club in 100,000 or one in 200,000, but just exactly one in 101,898.

“How do I figure that out? Kiwanis International has only 2,897 member clubs. Well, the Baltimore club has a past president of Kiwanis International and an international trustee. Mathematically, the chances that any Kiwanis club will have both a past president and an international trustee at the same time are one in 101,898—and the reason I know it's right is that I got a Johns Hopkins Ph.D. in mathematics to figure it out for me.”

Be exactly one hundred per cent sincere. An insincere statement may occasionally fool an individual, but it never fools an audience. “This highly intelligent audience…” “This exceptional gathering of the beauty and chivalry of HoHokus, New Jersey…” “I'm glad to be here because I love each one of you.” No, no, no! If you can't show sincere appreciation, don't show any!

THIRD/ IDENTIFY YOURSELF WITH THE AUDIENCE

As soon as possible, preferably in the first words you utter, indicate some direct relationship with the group you are addressing. If you are honored by being asked to speak, say so. When Harold Macmillan spoke to the graduating class at De Pauw University in Greencastle, Indiana, he opened up the lines of communication in his first sentence.

“I am very grateful for your kind words of welcome,” he said. “For a Prime Minister of Great Britain to be invited to your great university is an unusual occasion. But I feel that my present office was not the only nor, indeed, perhaps the main reason for your invitation.”

Then he mentioned that his mother was an American, born in Indiana, and that her father had been one of De Panw's first graduates.

“I can assure you that I am proud to be associated with De Pauw University,” he said,“and to renew an old family tradition.”

You may be sure that Macmillan's reference to an American school and to the American way of life which his mother and her pioneer father knew made friends for him at once.

Another way to open the lines of communication is to use the names of people in the audience. I once sat next to the main speaker at a banquet and I was amazed at his curiosity concerning various people in the hall. All through the meal he kept asking the master of ceremonies who the person in the blue suit at one table was, or what was the name of the lady in the flowered hat. When he arose to speak, it became evident at once why he was curious. He very cleverly wove some of the names he had learned into his talk, and I could see the evident pleasure on the faces of the persons whose names were used and I sensed the warm friendliness of the audience that this simple technique won for the speaker.

Notice how Frank Pace, Jr., speaking as the president of the General Dynamics Corporation, worked in a few names to advantage. He was speaking at an annual dinner of Religion in American Life, Inc., in New York:

“This has been a delightful and meaningful evening for me in many ways,” he said.“First, I have my own minister, the Reverend Robert Appleyard, here in the audience. By his words, deeds, and leadership he has been an inspiration to me personally, to my family, and to our entire congregation…Secondly, to sit between Lewis Strauss and Bob Stevens, men whose interest in religion has been amplified by their interest in public service…is again a source of great personal pleasure…”

One word of caution: If you are going to work strange names into your talk, having learned them through inquiries made for the occasion, be sure you have them exactly right;be sure you understand fully the reason for your use of the names; be sure you mention them only in a favorable way; and use them in moderation.

Another method of keeping the audience at peak attentiveness is to use the pronoun“you” rather than the third-person “they.” In this way you keep the audience in a state of self-awareness, which I have pointed out earlier cannot be overlooked by the speaker if he is to hold the interest and attention of his listeners. Here are some excerpts from a talk on Sulphuric Acid by one of our students in a New York City class:

Suphuric acid touches you in your life in a score of ways. If it were not for sulphuric acid, your car would stop, for it is used extensively in the refining of kerosene and gasoline. The electric lights that illuminate your office and your home would not be possible without it.

When you turn on the water for your bath, you use a nickel-plated faucet, which requires sulphuric acid in its manufacture. The soap you use has possibly been made from greases or oils that have been treated with the acid. The bristles in your hairbrush and your celluloid comb could not have been produced without it. Your razor, no doubt, has been pickled in it after annealing.

You come down to breakfast. The cup and saucer, if they are other than plain white, could not have come into being without it. Your spoon, knife and fork have seen a bath of sulphuric acid if they are silver-plated.

And so on through the whole day sulphuric acid affects you at every turn. Go where you will, you cannot escape its influence.

By skillfully using “you” and inserting his listeners into the picture, this speaker was able to keep attention alive and glowing. There are times, however, when the pronoun “you”is dangerous, when it may establish a cleavage between speaker and audience rather than a bridge. This occurs when it might seem as though we were talking down to our audience or lecturing it. Then it is better to say “we” instead of “you.”

Dr. W.W.Bauer, Director of Health Education of the American Medical Association, often used this technique in his radio and television talks. “We all want to know how to choose a good doctor, don't we?” he said in one of his talks. “And if we are going to get the best service from our doctor, don't we all want to know how to be good patients?”

FOURTH/ MAKE YOUR AUDIENCE A PARTNER IN YOUR TALK

Did it ever occur to you that you can keep an audience hanging on every word by using a little showmanship? The moment you choose some member of the audience to help you demonstrate a point or dramatize an idea, you will be rewarded by a noticeable rise in attention. Being aware of themselves as an audience, the members of it are keenly conscious of what happens when one of its own is brought into “the act” by the speaker. If there is a wall between the man on the platform and the people out there, as many speakers say, the use of audience participation will break that wall down. I remember a speaker who was explaining the distance it takes to stop a car after the brakes have been applied. He asked one of his listeners in the front row to stand and help demonstrate how this distance varied with the speed of the car. The man in the audience took the end of a steel tape measure and carried it forty-five feet down the aisle, where he stopped on a signal from the speaker. As I watched this procedure I couldn't help but notice how the whole audience became engrossed in the talk. I said to myself that the tape measure, in addition to being a graphic illustration of the speaker's point, was certainly a line of communication between that speaker and this audience. Without that touch of showmanship the audience might still be concerned with what it was going to have for dinner or what programs would be on TV that evening.

One of my favorite methods of getting audience participation is simply to ask questions and to get responses, I like to get the audience on its feet, repeating a sentence after me, or answering my questions by raising their hands. Percy H. Whiting, whose book How to Put Humor in Your Speaking and Writing contains some valuable advice on the subject of audience participation, suggests having your listeners vote on something, or inviting them to help you solve a problem. “Get yourself in the right state of mind,” says Mr. Whiting, “a state of mind that recognizes that a speech is unlike a recitation—that it is designed to get audience reaction—to make the audience a partner in the enterprise.” I like that description of the audience as “a partner in the enterprise.” It is the key to what this chapter is all about. If you use audience participation you confer the rights of partnership on your listeners.

FIFTH/ PLAY YOURSELF DOWN

Of course, nothing will take the place of sincerity in this speaker-audience relationship. Norman Vincent Peale once gave some very useful advice to a fellow minister who was having great difficulty keeping the audience intent upon his sermons. He asked this minister to question his feelings about the congregation he addressed each Sunday morning—did he like them, did he want to help them, did he consider them his intellectual inferiors? Dr. Peale said that he never ascended the pulpit without feeling a strong sense of affection for the men and women he was about to face. An audience is quick in taking the measure of a speaker who assumes that he is superior in mental accomplishment or in social standing. Indeed, one of the best ways for a speaker to endear himself to an audience is to play himself down.

Edmund S. Muskie, then U.S. Senator from Maine, demonstrated this when he spoke to the American Forensic Association in Boston.

“I approach my assignment this morning with many doubts,” he said. “In the first place, I am conscious of the professional qualifications of this audience, and question the wisdom of exposing my poor talents to your critical view. In the second place, this is a breakfast meeting—an almost impossible time of day for a man to be on guard effectively;and failure in this respect can be fatal to a politician. And thirdly, there is my subject—the influence which debating has had on my career as a public servant. As long as I am active politically, there is likely to be a sharp division of opinion among my constituents as to whether that influence has been good or bad.

“Facing these doubts, I feel very much like the mosquito who found himself unexpectedly in a nudist colony. I don't know where to begin.”

Senator Muskie went on, from there, to make a fine address.

Adlai E. Stevenson played himself down at the beginning of a commencement exercise address at Michigan State University. He said:

“My feeling of inadequacy on these occasions brings to mind Samuel Butler's remark when he was once asked to talk about how to make the most out of life. I think his reply was: ‘I don't even know how to make the most out of the next fifteen minutes.'And I feel that way about the next twenty minutes.”

The surest way to antagonize an audience is to indicate that you consider yourself to be above them. When you speak, you are in a showcase and every facet of your personality is on display. The slightest hint of braggadocio is fatal. On the other hand, modesty inspires confidence and good will. You can be modest without being apologetic. Your audience will like and respect you for suggesting your limitations as long as you show you are determined to do your best.

The world of American television is a demanding one, and every season top-rated performers fall under the withering fire of competition. One of the survivors who comes back year after year is Ed Sullivan, who is not a television professional, but a newspaper man. He is an amateur in this fiercely competitive field and he survives because he doesn't presume to be anything but an amateur. Some of his mannerisms on camera would have been handicaps for anyone with less natural appeal. He cups his chin in his hand, hunches his shoulders, tugs at his necktie, stumbles over words. But these failings are not fatal for Ed Sullivan. He doesn't resent people for criticizing these faults. At least once a season he hires the services of a talented mimic who caricaturizes him to perfection, exaggerating all his faults. Ed Sullivan laughs as unaffectedly as everyone else when this performer holds the mirror up to nature. He welcomes criticism, and audiences love him for it. Audiences like humility. They resent the show-off, the egotist.

Henry and Dana Lee Thomas, in their book Living Biographies of Religious Leaders, said of Confucius: “He never tried to dazzle people with his exclusive knowledge. He merely tried to enlighten them with his inclusive sympathy.” If we have this inclusive sympathy, we have the key that unlocks the door to the audiences' heart.

鲁塞·康威尔著名的演讲《钻石宝地》，总共发表过近6000次。你或许会想，重复这么多次的演讲，可能已经根深蒂固地刻在演讲者的脑海里，演讲时的字句音调该不会再变了吧？事实却并非如此。康威尔博士知道，听众的情况各不相同，因此他明白必须让听众感到他的演讲是个性化的、活生生的东西，是特意为他们准备的。他是如何在一场接一场的演讲中成功地维系演讲者、演讲和听众之间轻松愉快的关系的呢？“当我到了某个城市或某个镇时，”他写道，“总是先去拜访那些邮政局长、理发师、旅馆经理、学校校长、牧师，然后走进店里同人们交谈，了解他们的历史和他们所拥有的发展机会。然后，我才发表我的演讲，对那些人谈论适合他们当地的话题。”

康威尔博士很清楚，成功的沟通有赖于演讲者使他的演讲成为听众的一部分，并且使听众成为演讲的一部分。这也正是《钻石宝地》成为最受欢迎的演讲，但我们却找不到一本演讲词的副本的原因。由于康威尔博士聪敏、洞察人性，而且又勤奋谨慎，所以这一相同的题材尽管已经给大约6000场的听众讲过，但同一次演讲不会说两次。从他的例子中你应该有所领悟：准备演讲时，头脑里应该想着特定的听众。这里有一些简单的法则，可以帮助你建立起与听众之间和谐密切的关系。

一、根据听众的兴趣演讲

这正是康威尔博士采用的方法。他会在自己的演讲中加入许多当地俗谈和实例。听众之所以对他感兴趣，就是因为他的谈话与他们有关，与他们的兴趣有关，与他们的问题有关。这种与听众本身及其兴趣相关联的内在联系，能够牢牢抓住听众的注意力，保证沟通渠道的畅通无阻。艾力克·琼斯顿是美国前商会会长，现为动作电影协会会长，在他的每一场演讲中几乎都应用了这种技巧。下面来看看他在俄克拉荷马大学的毕业典礼上是如何巧妙地使用这个方法的：

各位俄克拉荷马的公民，对于那些习惯危言耸听的小商小贩们应是再熟悉不过了。各位只需稍稍回想一下，便会想起来，他们一向将俄克拉荷马州排除在外，认为它是永远绝望的冒险。

噢，在20世纪30年代，所有绝望的乌鸦都告诉其他乌鸦，最好是避开俄克拉荷马，除非他们自己携带干粮。

他们认为俄克拉荷马是美洲新沙漠中永远难以改变的一部分。他们这样形容道：“这里永远都不会有东西开花。”但是到了20世纪40年代，俄克拉荷马却成了花园，连百老汇也要举杯为它祝福。因为在那儿，“当雨后微风吹来，便有小麦波浪起伏，散发出清香。”

在短短的10年之内，这个曾经干旱肆虐的地区，到处都是茂盛的玉米秆。

这是信仰的结果——也是有计划地冒险的结果……

因此，我们在考察自己时代的时候，应该总是看到美好的远景，而不是停留在昨天的阴影之中。

当我准备访问这里的时候，我先看过了《俄克拉荷马日报》卷宗，知道了这里1901年春天的景象。我想体会一下50年前本地的生活。

结果我发现了什么？

噢，我发现它描述的全是俄克拉荷马的未来，重心都放在了将来的希望上。

这是一个根据听众兴趣来演讲的极好例子。艾力克·琼斯顿采用的这一有计划的冒险事例源自听众身边，使听众们觉得他的演讲不是油印出来的拷贝文件，而是特意为他们准备的。演讲者根据听众的兴趣来演讲，听众当然不会转移注意力。

要先问问自己，你的演讲如何帮助听众解决他们的问题，怎样才能达到他们的目标？然后开始讲给他们听，就会让他们全神贯注。如果你是个会计师，你的开场白可以这样：“我现在要教你们如何节省50到100美元税收。”或者如果你是一位律师，你可以告诉听众如何立遗嘱。你肯定会让听众兴致勃勃。事实上，在每个人的知识积累中，必然会有某个题目能对听众有所帮助。

曾有人问英国报业巨子诺斯克利夫爵士，什么东西能够激发人们的兴趣，他回答说：“人们自己。”他就是根据这一单纯的事实建立了一个报业帝国。

詹姆斯·哈维·鲁滨逊在《思想的酝酿》一书中，形容幻想是“一种出于自然的、最受欢迎的思想”。他接下去说，在幻想中，我们允许自己的思想各自沿着它的方向前进，而它的方向又取决于人们的希望或恐惧；取决于人们的成功或幻灭；取决于人们的喜、怒、哀、乐等情绪。世上再也没有比我们自己更令我们感兴趣的事了。

来自费城的哈罗德·杜怀特，在一次毕业宴会上做了一场非常成功的演讲。他依次谈到了桌边的每个人。他说刚上演讲课的时候，自己并不善于讲话，而现在进步多了。他一边回忆同学们所做的演讲和讨论过的题目，一边夸张地模仿其中一些人，逗得大家开怀大笑。像他这样的演讲，是不可能失败的，这是绝对理想的谈话题材。天底下没有什么题目比这更能令大家感兴趣的。杜怀特先生真是通晓人性。

几年前，我替《美国杂志》写过一系列文章，有幸和约翰·西德达先生交谈。当时他正主持杂志的《有趣人物》专栏。“人都是自私的，”他说，“他们只对自己感兴趣。他们并不怎么关心政府是否应该把铁路收归国有，但他们却想知道如何才能获得晋升，如何才能得到更多的薪水，如何保持健康。如果我是这家杂志的总编辑，我将告诉读者如何保护好他们的牙齿，如何洗澡，如何在夏天保持清凉，如何找到一份好工作，如何应付雇员，如何买房子，如何记忆，如何避免文法错误，等等。另外，人们也总是对别人有趣的经历感兴趣，所以我会邀请一些大富翁谈谈他们如何在房地产中赚进几百万美元。我还要请一些著名的银行家及各大公司的总裁，谈谈他们是如何从底层奋斗到有权有势的地位的。”

不久，西德达真的当上了总编辑。当时这家杂志的销量很小。西德达立即按照自己的构想开展工作。结果怎样呢？情况发生了巨大变化，销售量急剧上升，达到20万份、30万份、40万份、50万份，以至于更多，因为它的内容是一般民众想知道的。没多久，杂志每个月销售量就达到了100万份，然后是150万份，最终达到了200万份。但它并没有就此停住，而是持续上升了许多年。西德达满足了读者们的兴趣，因此获得了成功。

当你下次面对听众时，要把他们想象成急切地想听你说什么——只要对他们有用就行。演讲者如果不考虑听众自我中心的天然倾向，就会发现自己面对的是一群烦躁不安的听众。他们会局促不安，表现出不耐烦，不时地看手表，并且渴望离开。

二、真心诚意地赞美听众

听众由单个的人组成，他们的反应亦如个人的反应。公然批评听众，必然会导致愤懑。如果你对他们所做的值得称赞的事情表示赞美，你就会赢得通往他们心灵的护照。但这常常需要你去认真研究。例如这样肉麻的句子“各位是我曾见过最有智慧的听众”，也许会被大多数听众认为是空洞的谄媚而招致反感。

我想引用著名演讲家琼西·德普的话：你必须“告诉他们一些有关他们的事，这些事情他们没想到你可能会知道”。例如，有个人最近要在巴尔的摩的基瓦尼俱乐部发表演讲，却找不到该俱乐部的特殊资料，只知道在该俱乐部会员里曾有一位出任国际会长、一位出任国际董事。这些情况对俱乐部的人来说并不是新闻。但这个人却使大家感到了与众不同的东西。他是这样开场的：“巴尔的摩基瓦尼俱乐部是101898个基瓦尼俱乐部中的一个！”会员们听了有些奇怪：这个演讲者大错特错——因为全球只有2897个基瓦尼俱乐部。然后这位演讲者接着说：

“就算各位不相信，它仍然是事实，至少在数学方面是这样。各位的俱乐部是101898个当中的一个，不是10万或20万个当中的一个，而确实是101898当中的一个。

“我是如何计算出来的呢？不错，国际基瓦尼组织只有2897个俱乐部。但是，巴尔的摩俱乐部过去曾出过一位国际会长和一位国际董事。从数学的观点来看，任何一个基瓦尼俱乐部想同时出一个国际会长和董事的几率是1:101898。我有琼斯·霍普金斯大学的数学博士学位，可以证明我计算出来的数字的准确性。”

表示赞美的时候要确实出自真心诚意。没有诚意的话偶尔会骗过一两个人，却不能永远欺骗听众。例如“这样高度智慧的听众……”、“来自霍霍柯斯、新泽西的美女和侠士的特别聚会……”、“我真高兴在这儿，因为我爱你们每一位”……千万不要这样肉麻！如果你表示不出真心诚意的赞美，最好什么也别说。

三、与听众建立友谊的桥梁

演讲时，要尽快指出你正与之谈话的听众之间存在某种直接的关系。如果你感到被邀请很荣幸，不妨说出来。哈罗德·麦克米兰在印第安纳州绿堡的德堡大学跟毕业班学生讲话时，一开始就这样建立了沟通的纽带。

“我很感激各位亲切的欢迎词，”他说，“身为大不列颠首相，我应邀前来贵校，的确非比寻常。不过我感到，我现在就任的政府职位，恐怕不是各位盛情邀请我的主要原因。”

接着，他提到自己的母亲是美国人，出生在印第安纳州，而他的父亲则是德堡大学首届毕业生。

“我可以向各位保证，能和德堡大学有些关系，使我感到无上光荣，”他说，“并以能重温故乡的传统而骄傲。”

可以肯定，麦克米兰提到这所美国学校，以及母亲和身为该校先驱的父亲，立刻为自己赢得了友谊。

另一种建立友谊的方法，就是提及听众中某些人的名字。在一次宴会上，我紧挨着坐在主讲人边上。我很奇怪他对每一个人都非常好奇。他不停地向宴会的主人打听，比如那个穿蓝色西装的人是谁，或那位帽子缀满了鲜花的女士芳名叫什么。直到他站起来讲话时，我才了解他为什么好奇——他非常巧妙地把他刚才打听到的名字用到了自己的演讲中，我看到那些名字被他提到的人脸上洋溢着欢乐，而这个简单的技巧也为演讲者赢得了听众温暖的友情。

再来看看通用动力公司总裁小弗兰克·佩斯是如何使用几个名字便使演讲产生效果的。他在纽约美国生活宗教公司一年一度的晚宴上做的演讲：

“从很多方面来讲，今晚对我而言是一个愉快而且很有意义的晚上，”他说，“首先，我的牧师罗伯·阿勃亚便坐在听众席中。他的语言、行为和领导，已使他成为我个人、我的家人以及我们所有听众的一种激励和启示……其次，路易·施特劳斯和鲍伯·史蒂文斯两人对宗教的热诚，已从他们对公共事业的热情支持上表露无遗。能坐在他们二位中间，是我莫大的快乐……”

不过有一点需要小心：如果你准备在演讲用到陌生的名字，而这些名字是你通过询问得知的，那你必须确保正确无误，必须确实了解自己使用这些名字的原因，而且只能以友好的方式提到它们，当然还得有一定的节制。

让听众始终保持高度注意力的另一个方法，就是在演讲中使用第二人称代词“你们”，而不是使用第三人称“他们”，这样可以让听众保持一种亲自参与的感觉。我在前面已经指出，演讲者如果想抓住听众的注意力和兴趣，是不能忽视这一点的。下面摘录了我们纽约培训班一位学员题为《硫酸》的演讲词的几段来作为实例。

硫酸和我们的生活联系密切。如果没有硫酸，你们的汽车就不能行驶，因为提炼汽油和制造汽车时，必须用到硫酸。不论是你们办公室的电灯，还是你们家里的灯，如果没有硫酸就不会点亮。

在你们放水洗澡时，那镍质的水龙头在制造过程中也要使用硫酸。你们使用的肥皂也可能是用油脂和硫酸制成的。你们发刷上的鬃毛和假象牙梳子，如果没有硫酸也制造不出来。你们的刮胡刀在经过锤炼后，也一定要浸在硫酸中做处理。

你们下楼用早餐时，如果你们使用的杯子和盘子刚好不是纯白色的，那就更少不了它。如果你们的汤匙、刀叉是镀银的，也要在硫酸中浸过。

总之，在一整天的时间里，硫酸会从各个方面影响你们。不管走到哪儿，你们都无法逃过它的影响。

这位演讲者通过巧妙地使用“你们”，把听众融入到具体的情景中，因此吸引了听众的持续注意。不过，有些时候使用“你们”却是很危险的，它可能不是在你和听众之间建立友谊的桥梁，而是会造成分裂。例如，当你以智者的身份居高临下地对听众讲话或说教时，这种情形便会发生。这时候，最好是说“我们”，而不是“你们”。

美国医药协会健康教育主任保尔博士，在广播和电视演讲中就经常使用这种技巧。“我们都想知道如何选个好医生，是不是？”他在一次谈话中说，“如果我们想从医生那里获得最好的服务，那我们是不是需要知道如何做个好病人呢？”

四、鼓励听众参与演讲

你是否想过，怎样用点小小的表演技巧，就能让听众紧跟着你的讲话？如果你在演讲时让听众协助你展示某个观点，或者把你的观点戏剧化地表现出来，那么听众对你的注意力就会明显提升。这是因为当听众中的一个人被演讲者带入“表演”中时，听众们就会敏锐地注意所发生的事。如果在讲台上的人和讲台下的人之间有一堵墙——就像许多演讲者说的那样——利用听众的参与就可以推倒这堵墙。我还记得，有个演讲者为了说明汽车在刹车后，还必须前进多长的距离才能够停住，请了前排一位听众出来，帮他展示汽车在不同速度下这个距离有什么变化。这个听众拿着钢卷尺的一端，沿着走道把它拉长到45尺处演讲者示意他停下来的地方……在这位听众演示的过程中，我注意到其他听众也是全神贯注。我对自己说，那条卷尺除了能生动地展现演讲者的论点之外，还成了演讲者与听众之间一座沟通的桥梁。若不是使用这一展示方法，听众可能还在想着晚饭吃什么，或者晚上看什么电视节目！

我最喜欢使用的让听众参与演讲的方法，就是提问并让听众回答。我喜欢请听众站起来，跟着我重复一句话，或举手回答我的问题。帕西·华廷有一本书叫《如何在演讲和写作中运用幽默》，也提出了一些如何让听众参与进来的忠告。他建议让听众对一些事情进行表决，或邀请他们共同解决问题。“确保自己的思想是正确的，”华廷先生说，“正确的思想会让演讲不像在背诵，它可以引起听众的反应，把听众变成企业的伙伴。”我很喜欢他把听众描述为“企业的伙伴”。这是本章所讨论的重点。如果能让听众参与进来，你就把合伙人的权利送给了他们。

五、保持谦虚谨慎的态度

在演讲者和听众之间的所有关系中，真诚是最重要的。诺曼·文生特·皮尔给了一位牧师一些有用的忠告——那个牧师讲道时简直没有办法抓住听众的注意力。他让牧师问自己，他对每个星期天早晨都要布道的人们怀有什么样的感情——是否喜欢他们？是否愿意帮助他们？是否认为自己比他们智力高出一等？皮尔博士说，他登上讲坛时，每次都对即将面对的男男女女怀着强烈的感情。演讲者如果自认为在智力或社会地位上比别人高出一等，听众一听就会很清楚。所以，如果演讲者想得到听众的爱戴，最好保持谦虚谨慎的低姿态。

艾德蒙德·穆斯基担任缅因州参议员时，曾在波士顿的美国辩论协会的一次讲话中展示了这种技巧。

“今天，我被派来履行自己的职责，心里确实有一些担心。”他说，“首先，我很清楚你们全都是专家，我在这里是班门弄斧，在你们犀利的目光下只会暴露自己的愚蠢，不知我这样做是不是明智之举。第二，这是一次早餐会，而早晨又是一个人警觉性最差的时候，对于一位政客来说，如果失败，后果将不堪设想。第三，我要讲的题目是‘辩论对我公仆生涯的影响’。由于我在政坛上比较活跃，这对我的选民的影响很可能会形成尖锐的意见分歧。

“面对这些担心，我感觉自己就像一只蚊子，无意间闯入了天体营，不知从哪儿开始才好。”

穆斯基议员就这样开始，发表了一场精彩的演讲。

阿德莱·史蒂文生在密歇根州立大学毕业典礼上的演讲，一开始也采取了低姿态。他说：

“在这样的场合，我总是感到心有余而力不足。我想起了有一次塞缪尔·巴特勒被问到如何充分利用生命时的谈话。他说：‘我甚至不知道如何很好地利用下面的15分钟呢。’现在我对这20分钟也有相同的感觉。”

如果你想让听众敌视你，最好的办法就是让他们感觉你高高在上。演讲时，就如同把自己放在橱窗里展示，你人性中的每一侧面都暴露出来了，只要你稍稍有一点自夸，就注定要失败。但你若表现出患得患失、没有信心，那也是很糟糕的。你可以谦虚，但不能表现出患得患失、没有信心的样子。只要你表示出要尽力讲好，并说自己才识有限，听众就会喜欢你，尊敬你。

美国电视界竞争非常残酷，每一季收视率最高的演员都要陷入这种竞争。在这里能够保持常胜的演员只有艾德·萨利文。他不是电视专业人员，而是一位新闻从业人员。他在竞争激烈的电视圈里只算是个业余选手。他之所以能够在竞争中取胜，是因为他没有把自己看得很高，只认为自己就是业余的。他在镜头前会有些不自然的举动，别人也都可能会认为是一种失误，他会手撑下巴，弓着两肩，拉扯领带，说话结巴……但这些缺陷都无损于他；即使有人批评他，他也不计较。他每个季度至少要请一位模仿高手在电视里惟妙惟肖地模仿自己，并夸大自己的缺点。他会和别人一样对这些可笑的动作哈哈大笑。他欢迎批评，观众也因此而喜欢他。因为观众喜欢谦逊，厌恶自大自夸的卖弄者。

亨利和丹纳·李·托马斯在他们的著作《现代宗教领袖传》中这样评述孔子：“他从不向人们炫耀自己的知识。他只是用自己的仁德之心，设法启迪人们。”如果我们能有这样的包容，我们便掌握了打开听众心扉的钥匙。